The Life Erotic

Do you live The Life Erotic? I definitely feel like I do, seeing as my main job is fap-testing porn sites, plus a weekly hookup with a pornstar for PornDudeCasting. Even if you ain’t a professional masturbator or video stud, though, this next website will help you live vicariously through sexy broads who are very well about that life. Hell, even a virgin neckbeard living in his mom’s basement will enjoy the hell out of this, provided he's got a pulse.

TheLifeErotic.com is a paysite from the folks behind MetArt. I know some of you will hear me mention MetArt and assume we’re about to go look at some softcore nudes, but today we’re looking at one of their kinkier, dirtier brands. It’s still arty as fucking hell, but with a lot more genital stimulation and explicit shots. These are premium solo and lesbian scenes with an arthouse vibe. The joint gets about half a million visitors every month, and I’m eager to see exactly what they’re beating off to.

Living the Life Erotic

Even if you’ve never seen a MetArt site, it’s apparent the moment you load up The Life Erotic that this ain’t going to be your typical reality porn paysite. Even the polished layout hints at something a bit more refined than the usual smut, with a dark color scheme that brings to mind high-class strip club champagne rooms as opposed to the sleazy neighborhood glory hole feel you get from a lot of paysites.

Likewise, the imagery also tells the story of a refined product for sophisticated perverts. Part of that is the row of Movie Updates showing promo images styled like cinema posters—erotic, X-rated cinema, of course. One poster shows a woman fucking a carrot, another has a masked babe on her knees in the forest. My favorite is the still for Tasty Treat 2, featuring a closeup of a lady peeing into a wine glass, artfully illuminated in hues of purple and blue.

With piss, dildos, chains and latex catsuits on the tour page, it quickly sets freakier expectations than the usual MetArt material. At the same time, fans of the brand will recognize MetArt’s fingerprints on nearly element of the production at TheLifeErotic. The sets, the setups, the lighting and the framing of the shots all feel very polished and professional, some might say luxurious.

In 2024, it doesn’t take much effort to find porn that’s hardcore, kinky and well produced. Still, it ain’t easy to find material that hits those notes with the same kind of couture elegance. If you haven’t seen any MetArt yet, TheLifeErotic.com is a good place to start. For one thing, it’s one their more explicit sites. They also let you watch three full-length movies for free. All that’s required is an email address; no credit card required.

I’m a sucker for a good freebie, so I tuned in to watch Jewels starring Lorena B. (Her last name does not rhyme with Hobbit, if that’s what you thought when you saw the name.) Lorena is certainly living The Life Erotic, and it’s a surprisingly classy movie of a chick wearing a pussy clamp and bejeweled buttplug. The slow camerawork and gorgeous shots really turn this filth into art, the kind of art you can masturbate to.

Jacking Off at the Art Museum

I’d seen more than enough of TheLifeErotic.com to know that I wanted to see even more. With that in mind, I made my way to the signup page to see about getting a ticket. Most paysites these days costs thirty bucks a month, but TheLifeErotic is cheaper than most sites at just twenty bones. The non-recurring price is double that, which is way too much to pay for the convenience of not having to cancel your account later. Set a reminder on your phone if you’re worried about it.

I feel like I’m pretty late to the party, because TheLifeErotic has been around since 2009 and I’m only getting into it now. I am glad they’ve been around so long, though, because it means they’ve had plenty of time to work on building that collection. To date, the full library has nearly 1400 artful erotic videos.

Runtimes are admittedly on the short side for a paysite, with videos typically clocking in between 10 and 15 minutes. I’d be more upset about it if the collection wasn’t already so deep and the price so cheap. Overall, I think you get plenty of volume for your dollar. On top of everything that’s already there, they’re releasing a new movie every four days. I like to see at least one per week if I’m paying for smut, so I’d call this above and beyond.

I often gloss over the photo galleries when I’m reviewing paysites, but that’s because they’re often bullshit. A lot of paysites just use some automatically generated video screencaps to pad their content numbers, even though nobody’s actually fapping to those pics. TheLifeErotic is a MetArt production, though, with around 3,000 tastefully posed, freaky nudie galleries. If you’re going to beat off to stills, you may as well go for the good ones.

Just Who Are These Horny Girls?

One of the few downsides at TheLifeErotic is just the fact that they don’t have a lot of famous chicks. Load up a high budget American site and the front page may well be covered in women you’ve whacked off to before. TheLifeErotic shoots with sexy lesser-known pornstars and models, mostly Euro chicks and some Americans. They’re mostly white and mostly slim, but there are a few voluptuous babes and exotic chicks if you dig in.

The most popular hotties on the site right now include Cara Mell, Rebecca Volpetti and Angel Wicky. They’ve also shot with some of the women I’ve banged on the PornDudeCasting couch, like Anissa Kate and Kylie Quinn. As with a lot of Euro and amateur sites, you’ll also find a lot of sluts with just one name, like Simon, Nikia, Yelena and Anjelica.

The very latest film from The Life Erotic, dropped just yesterday, stars a model known only as Katya G. Tasty Treat 2 is the piss movie I mentioned earlier, a 13-minute descent into urine-drinking depravity as captured by the artful eyes over at MetArt.

The video features Katya pissing in a wine glass, drinking it, sucking a dildo and playing with herself in the bathtub. The pissing alone sets it apart from most paysites, but so does the blue lighting that makes it feel a little like a music video or Dario Argento horror film.

It’s an unusually artistic presentation, but unlike a lot of what’s classified as “erotica” out there, it doesn’t stray from the fapworthy stuff. The girl is hot, she’s naked, and the tight, explicit shots show you exactly what she’s doing to herself. Nothing’s obscured by arty-farty filters or ruined with needlessly elaborate edits.

Even with the little aesthetic flourishes you expect from MetArt, the video feels very intimate, as if we’re just peeking in on Katya’s pleasant evening alone. MetArt sites still let members download movies, and this one might be a good candidate for your permanent offline spank bank. I was considering watching again after I type this up, so I can enjoy it with both hands.

TheLifeErotic.com is very similar to MetArtX, another MetArt brand that includes explicit masturbation scenes. I’d say the biggest difference between the two is the ramped-up level of freakiness on TheLifeErotic. MetArtX videos are fairly straightforward masturbation scenes, while TheLifeErotic is more likely to include things like fishnets, bondage gear, pee and pussy eating. High class and fucking kinky is the name of the game around here.

TheLifeErotic.com is one of the easier MetArt sites to recommend, thanks to the increased level of explicitness compared to the original. It’s dirtier, and it’s also kinkier, rolling a lot of fetishism and BDSM into what might be an ordinary, if artfully produced, masturbation scene. The highbrow aesthetic may not do much for just any porn fan out there, but doesn’t get in the way, either. The freebies are legit free, so I recommend starting there to get a feel for the place.