What’s up, you dirty dog! How’s your cock holding up? Have you been remembering to take breaks? You’ve got to give that little pecker a rest, or you’ll be beating some burnt meat real soon! Trust me. I know from experience! But you can spend one more day engaging in some much-needed “self-care”, right? Well, that’s great to hear! Because I’ve got some pretty great content for you and your cock today!
In a world where movies are being made for either 16-year-old girls or the Chinese government, it’s nice to be able to appreciate the finer of the arts. Some directors have a particular vision. They see the world in a different way than us, ordinary people. And with that vision comes some of the most visionary pieces of porn in modern history! Haha! That’s right, my friend! Today, I will be talking about the gold standard of porn flicks!
Sure, we all love the kind of porn with a well-thought-out and engaging story — the ones that make us question our life choices. We love the goofy, thoughtless “Pizza Delivery Guy” schtick. But the kind of movies you’ll hear about time and time again? That’s right! Good old porn parodies! Even if you’ve never watched porn in your life, you’ll have heard of some porn version of a movie: Titanic Orgy, A Tale of Two Titties, Everybody Does Raymond, Buffy the Vampire Layer, Forrest Hump, Pulp Friction. (I didn’t have to give that many examples, but I couldn’t help myself. They’re hilarious.)
I would love to make a porn parody just to come up with the name! ”Captain America: Civil Whore” See? Doesn’t that sound like a hit? Porn parodies have become so popular that they’re looked at like less of a porno and more of a cultural alternative! It’s the kind of thing you could coax your friends into watching with you as a joke. ”So, are there sites with enough taste to stream these pieces of art?” I hear you ask. Of course, there is!
Today, we’re going to be looking into the world of Adultempire.com. This site has a collection of over 1800 videos of porn parodies! From the goofy, low-budget rip-offs to the ”Holy shit! I can’t believe this is a porno” movies. You can enjoy the bedroom version of all the classic movies we enjoy! I can’t wait to get into all the naughty little details, haha!
And if you consider yourself a bit of a movie buff… Well, I would cancel my plans for the next two weeks if I were you! You’re about to have a fucking ball!
Landing on the site, you’ll be looking at a page of nothing but classic porn parodies! There’ll be no ads to distract you from all the creative sexiness flooding your screen! You’re free to browse through each one of Adult Empire’s 1800+ porn parody videos! I know I had a great time comparing all the cover art to the original movies! They really work hard on this stuff! Haha!
On the left of the page, you’ll find a search bar where you can narrow your search. There’s a section filter between: HD movies, movies with “pay per minute” options, and movies available to Unlimited members. (I’ll get to that later.) There’s also a section for you to scroll through and filter by category. (You should try the POV movies! They’re a fucking riot!) You can even filter your movie search by price range. So, if you’re not looking to spend any more than $5 to get off, the choice is entirely yours!
Each movie has a dedicated page. The page includes the movie cover next to a preview of the movie. And these previews aren’t what you’d find on most sites. It’s not just a couple clips of ass and titties mashed together in a 2-minute clip. These previews are done in the same way as any other movie trailer. There’s a narrator, a story, suspense… You’re actually going to be experiencing a move!
On each movie page, you’ll have the option to like and favorite the movie once you’ve watched it. Below the preview, there are sections of scenes with clip reels. Each scene contains a number of clips that you have the option to pay for. See something worth busting a nut to, and you don’t even want to wait on buying a subscription? Just buy that clip right there and have fun!
The variety of these movies is incredible! You can find parody movies ranging from ridiculous to mindblowing! I promise you! Half the time, you won’t even be looking to jack off! There’s a lot to gain from acknowledging the production alone! You think I’m kidding? Just take a look at the Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge
movie. Tell me that shit doesn’t blow your mind! You would never expect that kind of production from a fucking porn parody! And there’s much more like it!
I mean, come on. I know it’s not nearly as good as the real Pirates of the Caribbean. But, for a movie that you’re gonna be busting your nut to? The production quality, the acting, the cinematography, the special effects… It’s a legitimate porn experience! After watching something like this, you’d be more than happy you paid for such an experience!
Then you have movies like Xcalibur: Lords of Sex — based on the movie Excalibur. Not nearly as flashy as Pirates 2. But I guess it has its own charm. There’s nothing particularly special about this parody movie. The plot sucks. The acting sucks. Shit, even the fucking half sucks. Yet, the whole movie has this weird, charming, campy vibe. I think it was the way they chose the sets. It looks like even the sets are a budget version of the real thing. It’s almost kind of perfect.
Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody caught my eye. The actors are barely recognizable from their cartoon counterparts. Really, I didn’t give a crap about what was happening until I saw Daphney, haha! I’ve always had a thing for Daphney! So, watching that hot brunette get railed in the library. That really did something for me! Haha!
If you want to have a wild time, check out The Whore of Wall Street! It’s pretty much the same movie, except with 100x more fucking! The scenes and sets have a premium feel, and so does the tornado of pussy you’ll be seeing! It’s the same wild vibe as the hot-blooded. foul-mouthed fun you enjoyed with Leonardo DiCaprio. Except now, Jordan Belfort’s [even more of] a raging whore!
Most movies give you multiple options to pay for the movie: Pay per minute (New accounts get 15 minutes free.), Download, Stream for life, or Rent for two days (cheapest option). Each of these prices varies between each movie. If you want to be smart and view movies without paying for them, you can buy the Adult Empire Unlimited Access for $24.99 per month.
What I Liked
This section of Adultempire.com is a whole fucking experience! I love the variety of videos available. You can go from trashy fun to genuinely impressive in moments! I don’t say this often, but purchasing a subscription to watch Unlimited porn parodies? Sign me the fuck up!
What I Didn’t Like
There really wasn’t much I didn’t like about this site. With no pesky ads and porn parodies of the world’s favorite films, there aren’t many ways to go wrong. The only bad thing is having to pay for the movies, but even paying makes you feel like you’re contributing to these awesome productions.
Tips From ThePornDude
There isn’t much you can add to this already fantastic section of the site. I’d only suggest that you add more movie options for the Adult Empire Unlimited
members. If you want to keep users for the long haul, that’s the way to do it!
Also, it probably wouldn’t kill to add some free content. I mean, you’ve got to give users a reason to want to increase their porn expenses, right? Haha! Maybe just a movie or two for every genre.
ConclusionAdultempire.com has an incredible selection of porn parodies, all of varying qualities!
If you fancy yourself a bit of a movie buff, you’re gonna be on this site for a long fucking time! With over 1800 movies to choose from, you can consistently blow your mind and your load with classic titles! I haven’t had this much fun in a while! Have fun, you dirty little perv!