FapHouse Blowjob

I hate reviewing sections of FapHouse even though my overall opinion of the place is that it’s a fantastic website with a very interesting business model that’s pretty rare, all things considered. I hate reviewing it because it’s painfully random. All right, a bit of exposition first: FapHouse is a premium porn tube featuring countless high-quality videos all available under one subscription.

So far so good. What makes them different from other similar porn tubes is the way that they source their videos. They get videos fed in from professional companies who produce this smut then resell it. These videos could and usually are available elsewhere, but ideally FapHouse should be the only place on the internet where you can access them all for one single payment. Right off the bat on this here blowjob section I’m seeing a video by a company called JAVHub next to something European from a company called Porno Cloud. I don’t have to tell you that JAV and European porn are perfectly unrelated.

Looking at the blowjob content alone, you’re very much in for a good time and a narrow sexual act represented across all of these videos, but the connection still manages to be kind of weak, even though there’s a category tagging system in place. FapHouse import far too many videos to manually edit the metadata for every single bit of content that ends up in their libraries. They moderate their content, for sure, but I’m guessing they don’t actually edit the detailed information regarding the videos. This leads to the unintended end result of overall fucked up categories, despite what the title of this review might suggest. Yes, there is indeed a blowjob section on FapHouse and they do actually make efforts to keep it sincere and helpful, but it falls short in too many ways for me to give it a stellar grade.

Blowjobs Are Sparse

This is what makes reviewing FapHouse so difficult. On the one hand, you’ve got a gigantic porn tube with enough smut to feed several armies, on the other, it’s impossible to narrow down on a fucking fetish even if it’s something so painfully simple as a fucking blowjob. Let’s dive back into the first results page again for some informative examples. Right off the bat I’m seeing cuck porn with step siblings, Asian on Black porn, retro hairy pussy fucking, a lesbian threesome, a German orgy party and as if that wasn’t random enough, there’s also a two and a half hour Rocco Siffredi flick from back in the day centered around anal sex. I don’t know if you noticed but not once did, I say the word blowjob back there.

This is what I’m talking about. The tagging and search system obviously isn’t reading the titles of the videos and it shouldn’t. The titles don’t matter. The content does. You’d think that this would be enough to clear up any confusion, but alas computers are dumb as shit. Take the Rocco video I mentioned for example. It’s a two-and-a-half-hour sex extravaganza with damn near every mainstream porn fetish known to man featured several times over. Naturally, his dick gets sucked. Hell, it happens more than once. But how the fuck does that make the movie itself a blowjob video? It doesn’t. It’s an anal dude on girl porn movie that happens to feature some blowjobs, some of the time. This is pathetic. My conclusion on FapHouse and blowjobs or FapHouse and any specific sexual act is that you simply cannot narrow down and get a huge load of the same kind of content. It’s just impossible given the way the site operates. You’d have better luck on a free porn tube or a dedicated blowjob site.

Worth a Fap or Two

That being said, there’s a lot of value to FapHouse. I wouldn’t want you leaving this review under the impression that this entire place is a wash. There’s potential, you just have to be in the right mindset. FapHouse and this entire blowjob section are natural fits for people who enjoy seeing blowjobs, but who are not particularly anal about their preferences. If you like all kinds of mainstream girl on boy porn, but you also enjoy blowjobs as a spice on top of what is already a fantastic video, then this is the perfect site for you, because that’s what every single video on here is about. There’s nothing complicated about it, really. You get countless high-quality videos, straight from their studios, in the highest available resolution, all under one subscription and all the videos that you see here do indeed feature at least one blowjob.

I know that sound like a bit of a shitty compromise, but it’s not like FapHouse are going out of their way to muddy the waters here. They’re filtering all of their videos across all kinds of categories and the system does indeed seem to work as intended. You can blame the original studios for peppering their videos with every single tag under the sun. They don’t mis-tag, they over-tag. There’s too much specificity in the video information, so one video technically falls under 100 different fetishes, even if it’s just a vanilla clip of a dude sticking his cock into a chick’s vagina.

Subscribing for More

The silver lining to FapHouse is in the fine print, which is a pretty rare occurrence among porn sites. Normally, on premium porn sites, the large print giveth and the small print taketh away. Not on FapHouse. This place straight up offers you more than 340 thousand videos, all of which are professional productions that are either full-length or the next best thing. What I mean is, there are no 3-minute bathroom stall masturbation clips. This is all proper pornography like you would have gotten at a Blockbuster 30 years ago.

You get access to each and every one of these videos for only 15 euros a month, with a possible discount if you pay more in advance. The price goes down to 12 euros a month if you pay for 3 months in advance, or 9 euros a month if you pay for the whole year. And, as if that weren’t enough, you could also drop 300 euros one time and get lifetime access to FapHouse. That’s right. You could essentially unlock all content both past and future on FapHouse and watch it until the day you die. Naturally, this all presupposes that we still have internet access in the future and that the world hasn’t been taken over by lizard people. But, FapHouse can’t really guarantee that, now, can they? No-one can. I much fear the rise of the lizard people, but alas, I fap my worries away and hope for another day.

Pay Once, Fap Forever

The lifetime subscription on FapHouse is made additionally alluring by the promise of around 600 new videos being added to the library every single day. I think that if you do the math, you’ll realize that this is most likely the most worthwhile subscription among any porn site on the internet. I’m not exactly sure. It’s not like I crunched all the numbers. But I stand very impressed. Plus, did I mention that FapHouse lets you download every single one of these videos and they’re yours to keep in perpetuity? That’s fantastic shit. You can’t repost them or sell them, of course, you’re only a consumer. But you can jack off to them until your dick falls off, and if you’re a lizard person, then it’ll grow back so you could do it all-over again.

As a closing note, I’d ask you to check out the bottom of the signup section of FapHouse just to get a sense of the kinds of companies they get their content from. I’m seeing Blacked, Private, Naughty America and TeamSkeet. That’s only four... out of hundreds of studios! This is pretty much the perfect offer.

On the other hand, I wouldn’t recommend that you pay for the lifetime subscription if you don’t believe that you’ll enjoy it. So, please check out some of the videos before you decide to sign up at all. The monthly sub is a great way to dip your toes into the action. The other element to consider, of course, is how diehard of a blowjob enthusiast you are. The more obsessed you are with blowjobs as a fetish, the less likely you are to extract direct value from a FapHouse subscription. Oh sure, you could hunt for individual blowjob scenes among the countless videos you gain access to, but ultimately, this is just a fucking hassle. When it’s time to fap you want to dive in and not have to think. So, if you want blowjob porn and nothing but blowjob porn, do look elsewhere.