Show + sites like NameThatPorn:
Can you Name That Porn? We’ve all seen it at one point or another. Hell, some of you were probably responsible for it, aimlessly scouring the internet for the name of a girl that you saw in some obscure porno years ago and could never find again. This is such a common practice on every porn site out there – particularly free porn tubes due to the often anonymous nature of user-uploaded videos – someone, inevitably, popping up in the comments section with something like “WHO IS THIS GODDESS?” or “NAME PLEASE.”
Is it slightly annoying? Yes, please don’t be that fucking guy. Just get your fap on and get over it. What are you going to find her entire catalog, fall in love through your computer screen with your cock in your hands, find out where she lives, and get her to fuck you? We all know that isn’t happening. So, why the fuck do you care so much about the bitches name? Not every girl in a porn scene becomes a porn star … chances are, if you haven’t been able to find anything else starring her, then this is all she did, bud. Sorry to break it to ya.
But I get it, I do. Some girls are just too fucking hot to let slip through our fingertips, like so much semen that she inspired. Even if she doesn’t have any other videos out there, it’s still worth a check. I understand. The only thing that’s always annoyed me about seeing comments like this on sites like Porn Hub or Red Tube is the fact that I always knew, deep down, that there just had to be a site out there designated specifically for this purpose – I knew that, in the vast and never-ending digital deep space of porn websites, there had to be a site that was specifically devoted to helping creepy fucks like yourself ID porn stars or titles of videos.
And I was right. There is. So, not only was I right (which is one of my favorite things to be … right after cumming, that is). But now I can go back to being annoyed with all of you pathetic fuckers who post “WHO IS SHE” on Porn Hub as if the sexy slut herself is going to pop into the comments section like, “I’m right here, baby, come fuck me.” So, please pay close attention to this review. After I publish this, I don’t want to see any more posts like that on a porn tube again.
Okay, are you ready? Get out a pen or a pencil or something, whatever the fuck you need to ensure that you do not forget this site. It is called – rather appropriately, I would say – Name That Porn. Got it? It’s not that fucking hard. It’s got to be one of the easiest site names in the world to remember. If your memory every fails you, all you have to do is think to yourself, ‘okay, what is it that I want the site to do for me? Hmm … I don’t know the name of that porn that I saw and really dug… so … oh yeah! I want this site to Name That Porn for me. Easy as a blowjob on a Sunday morning. You’re welcome.
More than One Way to Tap an AssBut this site has its uses for people who aren’t halfwit degenerates that need to be able to find their porn or actresses again or can’t remember the names to things that they enjoyed. It can also be a very useful resource for anyone looking for new girls or vids to watch. In fact, if you’re not a retard, that is what I recommend you use this site for. Think about it: the very nature of the site is to help dumb asses recall the names of pornos or porn stars that were so fucking good, they just need to see them again or learn more about them.
So, by the very nature of the site, there is a really good fucking chance that the videos and porn stars in question are going to have to be exceptionally hot, right? Why else would anyone be so desperate to learn more about it, to the point of going through the trouble of capturing a screenshot, going to a third-party site, and posting about it – not to mention waiting around and then coming back to the site at a later date to check back in on any updates. That’s gotta be some top-notch primo porno. And if idiots are good at anything, it’s knowing when chicks are hot. A very credible source, indeed.
And taking one look at the home page of Name That Porn will 100% back up my hypothesis. Every single girl featured in a thumbnail is fucking smoking. See, my logic is foolproof. The site, though, when you arrive resembles something not completely unlike Pinterest or Tumblr. You’ll find a bunch of thumbnails on the center of the page, of varying sizes – some are pics, screenshots, or gifs, while others are embedded videos (which is always nice, no need to look around for the source on a site where people are looking for sources).
Great Design for Easy BrowsingThe design of the site is quite nice, too. It’s very minimalistic and sleek, and everything has its place. You’ll find a white background, supporting a gray and pink theme. Plus, the organization of the site is superb. Everything here is clearly labeled and sectioned out – there will be no confusion, even though the site has a bit of a different central approach than most others.
That’s right, NameThatPorn.com has found a fun way to incentivize their community of users to help each other out. They’ve turned the act of being a good porn Samaritan into a game of sorts. Users are awarded points every time they provide a correct answer to someone’s inquiry. This way, porn aficionados from all over the world can compete for a number one spot on the leaderboard, which can be found on the left-hand side of the site, below the site menu bar and list of site stats.
For those of you who are curious, at the time of my visit to Name That Porn, the site boasted 800.2 thousand posts, 792.6 thousand comments, a solved ratio of 49.35%, 476.9 million post views, and 184.5 thousand users. Some of these numbers are clearly impressive (that’s is a fuck load of post views), while others leave much to be desired (a solve ratio of under 50%? That’s not much to brag about for a site that supposedly specializes in nothing but solving porn inquiries).
The site tries even further to help pornoholics find exactly what they are looking for, as well, with a formidable search function that runs you through the best way to optimize the site’s Boolean code. They also offer a reverse image search feature, which grants users the option to try to find out who their porn crush is without the hassle of posting and awaiting a response. Have a clear image of her face? No problem … just throw it into the reverse image search and see if they have her in the database.
Pro Tip:This can also be a great way to find out whether or not there is any porn of anyone you know; or, at the very least, a good way to find a porn doppelganger of a girl you know. See, as I said before, there is so much more to this site than merely catering to creepy porn stalkers. The only downside to this, though, is that the image has to be available in a URL … so, unfortunately, you cannot simply upload a jpg or something from your computer. Maybe that’s coming.
Thanks to a streamlined and clearly labeled site design, the user experience is of this site is awesome. It is so easy to browse, register/login, and post your own inquiry (if that’s your thing). You will have no problem navigating this site like a pro from the second you get here. And, as a result, you will be able to find some of the hottest scenes and girls in the world in a matter of seconds. None of that endless browsing that we always have to do to find something worthwhile on porn tubes – just straight to the good shit, no filler.
All in all, I am very happy to discover that you annoying fucks now have a place to be weird and creepy together, trying to learn girls’ names or finding additional content from them that probably doesn’t exist. Maybe now you can stop doing this on my favorite porn sites. I am also very happy to learn that I now have a place I can go when I don’t want to be bothered with clicking through thousands of mediocre videos to find a single great one. Now, I can just go to Name That Porn and find something top-notch in a matter of seconds.
- Huge archive of really awesome porn
- Cool service
- Game / competition / incentive element
- Low solve ratio
- Some posts are of screenshots and not full vids