Sex Dating can sometimes feel like playing the lottery. It’s a crazy-ass game of chance where you never know who you’re going to be in bed with at the end of the night. Will it be that hot brunette you matched with on Tinder, or is she going to ghost you after the first three messages? Yeah, let’s face it: a lot of you are going to settle for the fattest, drunkest chick crying to herself at the end of the night at your local karaoke bar.
It doesn’t have to be that way, though. Sometimes it’s just a matter of changing your strategy, looking elsewhere, or just playing it like a numbers game; if you keep shooting, you’re bound to score at some point. So why not gamify it just a little bit more? This SexDating SmartLink is your magic portal to a world of random sex partners near you. How? Well, you click it, and it sends you on a journey to a random local hookup site. How much easier could it get?
Spinning a Roulette Wheel of Local Pussy
I’ll be honest: when I first got this link, I didn’t know what the fuck it was. Sometimes sites will roll spam right into their domain, so you end up getting redirected somewhere else before you even get a chance to watch a porno, post on a sex forum, or mack on some strange broad who lives across town. Based on how the link kept sending me to different places, I thought it was the same setup. I kept wondering which one was the “real” site I was supposed to be looking at.
The joke’s on me, obviously. You get something different every time by design, and none of it is dick pill spam. If you click it a few times, you’ll be sent to a few different places, but you’re sure to notice a theme. The first place I landed on was OnlyFlings, a sex dating site I just reviewed about a week ago. So I gave it another go and ended up on SexySnaps, another dating site that wanted my zip code immediately.
Another click of the SexDating wheel sent me to a platform that promised I could bang a hoe if I filled out the free account form. On the next site, I was greeted by a buxom blonde in a bikini and a big pair of bug-eye sunglasses, who wanted me to opt in to notifications, so I immediately know when somebody sends me a message. Will it be blondie with the tits or another snaggle-toothed local bitch down the block? Nobody knows!
One of the main gimmicks here is that they use your location data to find you a dating site with local listings. There’s no fucking point in signing up for a website that has 50,000 members if they’re all in Bumfuck, Egypt. (Well, unless you live within driving distance of Bumfuck, Egypt, I guess.) Part of the pain of online sex dating is figuring which sites are relevant to you, so I can see how this would be a big help.
Playing It Like a Numbers Game
Another key element to getting laid online is using sites with decent numbers of users signing up and trying to get laid. It’s all about having a big pool to play in. Unfortunately, when you’re browsing some of those smaller dating sites, it can feel like it’s a tiny backyard pool full of piss. A fat, toothless piss!
I started looking at the traffic stats for the different sites SexDating was sending me to. The first was a relatively new site, but their traffic had been ramping up steadily to the tune of about 1.3 million a month. That isn’t bad. The next one had 40,000, which ain’t so hot. The one after that was hitting 4 million visits a couple of months ago but had fallen on harder times recently with just under a million last month.
I was actually hoping to give you better news on this front, but it’s evident that not all the SexDating links are created equal. And one thing you can do to assess their value before going through the signup process is to check their traffic stats with a plugin like SimilarWeb. The smaller ones aren’t worth as much of your time, simply because there’s less poon available on them.
Honestly, though, I noticed a pretty consistent correlation between the traffic and the quality of the landing page out front. If a sex dating site looks half-ass and shitty, it usually means it is. They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, but anybody who’s ever picked up a book knows that’s absolute fucking bullshit. The cover is the easiest, quickest way to tell what’s in the book, and it’s the same with dating sites. If they didn’t spend any fucking time on the landing page, they didn’t pay any fucking attention to the internal infrastructure either.
Where in the World Are the Pretty Girls?
While browsing the different sex dating sites where the link was sending me, it occurred to me that I was only viewing that magic SmartLink through the eyes of an American. Since it sends you to local sites, I decided it would be interesting to see what shows up if I pretend to be browsing from a different part of the world. So, using a VPN, I did exactly that, tricking the servers so they showed me what they would if I lived somewhere else.
First, I tried viewing the site as an Australian. Immediately, they gave me an Australian Locals site that hadn’t come up in the rotation before. Another click and I got a different Aussie dating site. This one was, honestly, the most polished I’d seen on my whole SexDating tour so far, with a front-page that reminded me of those fancy joints like Harmony.
The pickings were alright in the United Kingdom, too. First, I got a nice-looking joint where a couple of British chicks in lingerie blew kisses at the screen, followed by one of those shitty, low-quality sites that I skipped over. Another few spins of the wheel brought me back to the first site, so I’m guessing that’s their main option for you English perverts.
When I tried for some Russian sex dating, sure enough, they routed me to a site in Russian with a front page featuring a broad wearing tiny little hot pants. Every time I tried, I got a new website I hadn’t seen come up before.
I reviewed a gay dating SmartLink for MyGaySites yesterday, and one thing that struck me about the straight version is that there are a lot more localized options. Some of the bigger sites will pop up in multiple countries, but I was impressed by how the selection would change every time I rotated countries. By contrast, the gay version seemed to show me the same handful of sites no matter where I was pretending to live. This straight SmartLink is better and will help you get laid no matter where you are in the world.
Another thing I noticed was how Sex Dating sends you to all kinds of different dating sites. This dawned on me as I was checking out the options in Mexico, where one of the local sites specialized in older singles. Well, most of the sites seemed to be aimed generally at singles, but you’ll get some random opportunities to try your luck with MILFs, swingers, Asians, BDSM enthusiasts, and other assorted horny people. Goddamn, I love the Internet!
Ironically, this brings me to my only real complaint: I wish it had even more dating sites. I’m guessing the main bottleneck is the different affiliate deals the SexDating people can find. Ultimately, you’re missing out on many of the better sex dating sites I’ve reviewed here at ThePornDude. The good news is you can always come back here when you get bored of the random adventures and want something else.
This Sex Dating SmartLink isn’t perfect, but it does add a little bit of randomness and fun to the sometimes-tedious task of trying to get your dick wet on the Internet. So give it a look if you’ve been looking to end your pandemic dry spell with some rando who you hopefully won’t run into at the grocery store after this. It’s a simple gimmick, but it adds another element of chance to the whole hookup game.