Watersports! Sounds like some Olympic triathlon discipline where hoes run, swim, and then squirt all over the judges. Hey, that actually sounds like a pretty hot, unique porn scenario! Meet hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports! Yeah, the link is a fucking mess, but I know that you wouldn't be able to find the category in an old-fashioned way. It's hotmovies.com, and it's category named watersports! Duh! Another thing that you don't know, and I bet that you think you do, is that watersports are not some euphemism for pissing! You know what? Shut up and continue reading! Onwards with the details!
I'm getting the early 00's vibe
I haven't even had the chance to check out the about us section if it even exists, but it is already pretty damn obvious that hotmovies.com is a long-standing platform. I mean, look at those obsolete-looking letters and the layout that looks like it has been knitted by my visually impaired grandma. See me using fancy words like visually impaired instead of going with the semi-blind old bitch. In a decade or so, you're gonna be reading some Harvard-level English reviews that are gonna help you expand your vocabulary and teach you how to offend people without saying stuff like bitch, shit, and crap. Education at its best!
Lots of shit at the bottom of the homepage, but no ads. So far, so good. Hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports says Pay Per Minute right below the logo, so I am not gonna bullshit you with stuff like "is this place free, does it look like it is free." No, it's a premium website! Although I prefer top-notch smut over amateur crap, I have high expectations when it comes to joints that sell porn. The first big fuck-up with hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports is that it needs one hell of tweaking when it comes to the website design.
So, what the hell is watersports?!
Hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports did one thing right! The site brings a small description on top of each of its categories. Saliva sprays, and golden showers, that's pretty much what watersports is. What happened with pissing and spitting?! I guess that the webmaster behind the page strives to become one of those knowledgable fuckers who use euphemisms for obvious shit. Never mind! The explanation is satisfactory, which could not be said for the thumbnails.
One of the first videos that catch my attention is Lingerie Pissers (finally someone with the call it like you see it attitude), but the thumbnail pics are so damn small that I need a fucking magnifying glass. Hubble telescope! Hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports shows the studio and pornstars' names right where people can see them, but I am not pleased with the thumbnails, generally speaking. Let's see if I can do something about the view! Yeah, that's right! Fuckers, change to the Tube view option, and you'll get yourself a nice collection of thumbnails that show a short video preview! Finally, things are starting to look up!
I'm sticking with the tube view
837 videos in the hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports category at the time of this review. Not that big of a collection, but bear in mind that watersports is a fetish. Three new videos were added last month. Again, I could find some excuse for this fuck-up, but I am gonna let you be the judge of that. If one new video every 10 days or so rocks your boat, why should I give a damn?! Hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports is only one section of hotmovies.com and a pretty unique one. Remember that before you start rolling your fucking eyes on stuff like lazy updating schedule.
Now, I am interested in what kind of content lies around here. Hmmm, a fat granny in stockings pissing on a dude in a bathtub. Definitely looks like European smut! There's also this hot threesome featuring two bomb sluts doing a guy on a dining table. I've seen the movie before, and I think that chicks end up squirting all over the entree. I am thinking about what to say about hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports in terms of the content. Plenty of amateur shit and plenty of professional porn would be the most honest description. However, all of them look pretty damn fine.
No secrets around here
Each and every movie on hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports shows a short description, which is a big deal when you need to pay for a porno. The name of the studio, the name of the series, and the stars are all there on the right side of the DVD cover. Running time is also stated. The movies on hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports are not clips. I am talking about full-length movies that show a number of different scenes. C'mon now, you must have watched a decent porn movie at least once in your lifetime. In any case, you won't be shooting in the dark here. Under no circumstances.
The page shows a short model bio, and that is a neat way to filter the content. Speaking of filtering, let me tell you something about the category names featured below each thumbnail. In the case of some Isabella Lui vid I stumbled upon randomly, the movie has four scenes in total. Each scene shows a short trailer and a couple of photos that reveal everything there is to know about the video in question.
I guess you could say that hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports gets its content from renowned studios. I came across a shit ton of amateur smut, but let's pretend that I forgot about that fucked-up ordeal. Can you say that something is amateur if it is HD? In my book, amateur porn is porn that features a bunch of nobodies, while some fuckers use picture quality as the defining factor. Something like when cheap sluts call their fat sugar daddies teddy bears, and in reality, they are just fat mothafuckers. Don't give me that "it depends on the standpoint" bullshit! Double standards, that's what it is!
Buy minutes or go with the old-school membership plan
Hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports won't let you watch any of its videos unless you make the payment first. However, at the time of this review, all new members got 20 minutes free and one clip free of charge
. That's an amazing way to take a glance inside a couple of videos and see if hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports has what it takes to give you a boner.
Basically, you buy minutes that you later spend on watching smut. The bad news is that this whole buy minutes ordeal is pricier than regular membership plans because horny fuckers tend to lose track of time. The good news is that that will teach you to hit pause before you go in the bathroom to wipe your stomach with some shit paper. It's good for your wallet and your nosy mama that keeps entering your room without knocking, wondering about the mysterious white spots all over your brand-new sheets.
If you go with the free 20-minute option, keep in mind that hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports will top up your account with 200 minutes in 24 hours automatically and charge you $19.95 for it. To buy 150 minutes, you'll have to spend $9.95 (you get 40 bonus minutes). The website seems to understand the issues of the pricy minutes buying - the new option allows members to buy their way inside the complete library of hotmovies.com's porn for $24.95/month. This option gives you unlimited access to over 43K movies.
Stream or download a movie of your choice
Once you go over all of the filtering stuff I mentioned, you'll find something you'll want to stream. To unlock the stream for seven days option on hotmovies.com/category/26/Fetish-Watersports, you'll have to spend $3.95. The price applies to one movie only. To unlock the option of lifetime streaming, the page will chip off $7.95 from your bank account, and the option that offers both the lifetime streaming and downloading is $9.95. Yeah, I bored the shit out of you with these numbers, but you gotta know your options. My reviews are there to bring some lightness into your tedious life and inform you along the way.
I've nailed it once again, amused the hell out of ya, and presented you with yet another website to spend your hard-earned money on. Why not waste another day of your life searching for xxx content? Live your life to the fullest, fuckers! Whatever happens with your dough, at least you'll have some memories of cock-gobbling sluts you never met but who allowed you to watch them ride dicks for a couple of bucks. Superb shit! Happy fapping, dickheads!