Don't you fuckers find the combination of faphouse and erotica in one link odd? Maybe masturbationhouse.erotica would sound better, you know, more classy? Hey, it is what it is, a long link that will lead your straight to my favorite xxx page - faphouse.com/c/erotica/videos!
Ok, I lied about the favorite part, but I did review faphouse.com a couple of times. That crown/castle logo is engraved into my mind. The simple conclusion is that the logo is worthy of TPD. It managed to beat the odds and stay in the mind of the dude who sees dozens of hot xxx pages every day. Let's see what else is there! I have a feeling that this is gonna be a dull trip to the boreland, but some people actually have a thing for erotica. Such as it is, here comes the review!
Beating around the bush here, refusing to watch snoozy erotica
Yes, you can choose if you want to watch gay, straight, or shemale content on faphouse.com, the white background looks great, but no matter how hard I try, I can't stop looking at the thumbnails. You know, someone mentions erotica, and I picture a busty blonde rubbing oil all over her tits while the soft, ambient music dictates the tempo from the background. How blind I was! Right there, on the faphouse.com/c/erotica/videos, I saw a granny with an uber-hairy twat who fingers her holes to oblivion and back. Instead of the soft music, she screams and squirts like a Banshee. Erotic, indeed!
What's up with these categories nowadays?! A dude knew what to expect back in the day when categories did what they were meant to do - lead the horny pack towards the content of their liking. Everything is upside down now! There's a bitch gorging on a prick, milking a pool of seed with her mouth, and that loud granny, and some webmasters come up with an idea to put it in the erotica stash on faphouse!? How brilliant and stupid that is at the same time! This is like "ha, fuckers, you wanted erotica, I'll give you the filthiest of smut just in spite" kinda message. I don't mind! Not at all!
The content type has far exceeded my expectations
By now, you should have realized that the thumbnails on faphouse.com/c/erotica/videos show a video preview. So, I am watching, noticing a lot of stuff coming from X-Sensual. Aha, that seems to be the reason behind the categorization fuck-up! Someone is lazy! He sees the name X-Sensual, concludes that it must be some dull erotica, and shoves it inside the faphouse.com/c/erotica/videos category. I am still struggling to conclude if this upsets me or makes me thrilled.
I kept watching the previews, trying to crack the code. There was this movie coming from ShaggingMoms (yeah, the name really sounds erotic), where a teen chick covered her stepmom's fingers with pussy juice. There is also a movie named Lesbian Dommina (this is beyond lazy) that shows a poor lesbian trapped inside a closet, tied and slapped with a pair of dom's big tits. The moment I thought that erotica maybe meant the absence of dicks, I came across a straight couple banging like there's no tomorrow. A session of rough ass drilling right after a massage. The conclusion is that all videos inside faphouse.com/c/erotica/videos have that element of erotica in them, whatever that means.
It's no wonder that there are so many videos in here
For a website that follows such loose categorization of rules, it's no wonder that the faphouse.com/c/erotica/videos stash counts over 4.5K videos in total. Now, you do understand that the category of this size needs some decent filtering tools to fulfill its purpose, right? Before I focus on each categorization tool, I want you to know that all of these options are found on the left side of the category homepage, and you use them by checking the appropriate box.
This time, I chose Newest among the Newest and Popular criteria. I am just a nosy dude who wants to find out the truth. Faphouse.com claims to bring 600 new videos each day, but I don't buy that shit. They could easily add all of these new flicks into anal, DP, and gangbang stash and forget about erotica altogether. Who could blame them? Anyway, you are here for a reason. You want to know the truth about faphouse.com/c/erotica/videos and nothing but the truth, and that's exactly what I'm gonna give you.
Hey, faphouse.com/c/erotica/videos just fucked me up, big time! I wrote this mind-blowing thing, announcing nothing but the harsh truth, and the only thing I discovered is that faphouse.com/c/erotica/videos really sticks to its promise. One new video every single day, sometimes two a day. Ok, ok, you win! You'll have something new to wank off to every day, but you'll have to pay to unlock the videos! Ha, the dude always wins! Read and weep, fuckers, read and weep!
Show them the money!
The first important explanation is that you can subscribe to various categories or join the fan club for a certain price. But I don't give a rat's ass about that today. I want you to go big or go home! Unlock the whole collection of porn that faphouse.com has to offer and unlock both streaming and download of over 355K videos.
The price for the monthly membership plan is $9.99/month. Truth be told, this is way too short for a collection of this size. Moving on! At the time of this review, there were some crazy discounts going on, so be advised to check the pricing out once again before you actually make the payment. Don't be an idiot! So, the price for the three-month membership plan is $7.99/month, the yearly one costs $5.99/month, and the lifetime subscription is $299.99. Videos are 4K and HD, blah, blah...you know that premium websites always offer top-notch porn. It's not rocket science! I want to go back to faphouse.com/c/erotica/videos! Plenty of other things to bring up!
Going premium is not an easy decision to make
I understand you cheapskates, but it looks like you are ready for a change. You are here, reading a review on a premium page, which means that you are ready to take your nasty habit to a whole new level. Bravo! Now, the moment you land on faphouse.com/c/erotica/videos, you'll see a shit ton of HD and 4K signs. Before you start the downloading process, you'll get to choose the video quality. Don't settle for some mediocre shit! Once you wire your senses to top-notch smut, you'll never come back to the grubby grannies who suck dicks in public restrooms!
Remember that list of boxes I mentioned earlier? Make the best out of these little fellas! Namely, you can choose whether you want to watch HD, 4K, or SD vids. There's a way to sort out the faphouse.com/c/erotica/videos collection by the running time criteria - check the appropriate box depending on if you want to watch 0-5-minute-long clips, 5-30 minute ones, or the ones whose running time exceeds the 30-minute mark. Whatever happens, bear in mind that you paid to watch this shit!
Advanced filtering tools keep piling up! Below each video, you'll find a short description. Below all that content writing bullshit, your eyes are gonna feast on the list of tags and pornstar names that are your ticket to even more hot porn. I haven't seen any adult galleries, to be honest, but I don't give a fuck. This shit is way too exciting! Each video can be downloaded to your device, helping you become the person you always wanted to be - a sick psycho who makes secret folders and piles smut upon smut inside them. Way to go! That's what I call an aspiring young man!
You'll never run out of porn
Remember the subtitle and repeat it until you get to the stage of trans. It will do wonders for you once you hit the make the payment part. Most importantly, don't let that erotica word fool you. It's just a stupid name that hides so much juicy stuff behind it! You know how those untalented content writers write stuff like arousing and tantalizing? Cut that crap! Faphouse.com/c/erotica/videos is hardcore, rough, fucking hot, and unforgettable
. Something like a spicy candy wrapped in fancy paper. Like when you buy Valentine's gift for your home and pack a double-sided dildo in a pink wrapping with polka dots. Go wild!