Are you a Porn Hoarder? Hey, you certainly aren’t alone because I just had to rent another storage unit to keep all the homebrew smut that my lawyers haven’t let me release over at PornDudeCasting. Pretty much every pervert keeps their own personal stash, though, in this day and age, it isn’t totally necessary to keep an offline library of porn under your mattress or on your hard drive. Sites like the one I’m about to review arguably do a better job hoarding those dirty movies than your average Joe Blow porn collector with a folder full of lesbian movies on his desktop. As you follow along at home, ask yourself, can your home library of fuck flicks really compare to a site pulling a million visitors a month?
The size and scope of PornHoarder.tv is itself an impressive thing. According to the text at the top of their front page, they’re “Hoarding porn videos from across the web,” and that you can “Watch millions of free adult videos in one place.” That’s a pretty fucking bold claim for a joint that’s only about a year old. So they’re either hard at work building that mountain of obscenity, or they’re a bunch of liars. There’s only one real way to find out for sure, which is why I just downed a handful of Viagra, and I’m lubing up the ol’ Fleshlight. Let’s see what these pervs have to offer.
Hoarding Porn with Porn Hoarder
There’s something oddly clean about the PornHoarder presentation. Maybe it’s the white background, the simple logo, or the wide search bar across the top of the page, giving it something of a search engine vibe as opposed to the usual tube feel. With my adblocker running, I don’t see any spam out front. Scrolling down, it’s all round-cornered thumbnails of pretty girls fucking, sucking, and showing off those beautiful smiles.
I’ve been seeing a lot of social media leak tubes lately where the thumbnails are all solo girls in cosplay, twerking, or doing ASMR dirty whisper sessions. PornHoarder harkens back to the porn tubes of like three years ago before OnlyFans blew up and changed the whole internet porn landscape. The preview pics here mainly show hardcore action, beautiful women interacting with ding-dong in a variety of traditional porno locales like mansions, sparkly clean luxury hotel rooms, and the back seats of vans equipped for mobile humping.
Even without leaving the front page, it’s obvious they’re fucking with all kinds of dirty movies, mostly hardcore. The newest batch of uploads, added literally within the last twenty minutes, include POV blowjobs, creampies, Asian porno, and sneaky anal. There are a handful of recent OnlyFans leaks, again mostly dick-in-hole hardcore vids, but a few solo vids like an elf-eared babe masturbating and a JOI movie with three pornstars.
A quick trip to the PornHoarder.tv Categories page spells out the diversity in even more precise terms, with photos illustrating each subgenre of pornography. They’ve got all the major niches like Blonde, Black, and Blowjob; Big Ass, Big Dick, and Big Tits. It gets kinkier, of course, with big sections devoted to BDSM, Bukkake, Fisting, and Hentai. There’s even a Piss category if you like your showers golden, as did the former president of the USA.
Hey, I Know That Slut!
Do you know what else I like about Porn Hoarder? The place is absolutely crawling with famous pornstars. Recent updates feature such big-name video whores as Asa Akira, Kiara Lord, Angela White, and Carolina Sweets. I even see a bunch of the girls I’ve banged over at PornDudeCasting, like Lily Lou, Violet Myers, and Misha Cross.
Honestly, though, even the girls I don’t recognize and haven’t fucked tend to be beautiful. It’s a massive cast of well-known pornstars, rising starlets, and sexy amateurs. I refreshed the front page and found new material with Kyler Quinn, Indica Monroe, and my brand-new porn crush, this freaky little brunette who’s taking BBC in a 4-minute amateur interracial clip. Oh, and there’s Coco Lovelock, another babe I’ve gotten to know firsthand; I’ll definitely be watching that video in a little while.
The four-minute amateur video stands out, though. In part because it’s an amateur flick on a site that mostly dabbles in the pro stuff. It also stands out because so much of the hoarded porn on Porn Hoarder is full-length—that Coco Lovelock’s film, for example, clocks in at around 40 minutes. There’s also a half-hour flick with Alexis Tae and a 45-minute Kenzie Ann interracial movie added within the last few minutes. In fact, most of the recent uploads seem to be full movies.
It can be a challenge finishing a review like this. I mean, it’s hard enough on a tube full of short scenes, but what’s a smut expert like myself supposed to when all the movies are 20, 30, or 60 minutes long? I just had to take another long break because they just added a full-length Jewelz Blue movie. I figured I’d drop by and watch the striptease, but I ended up glued to the whole scene, including tit wanking, cock sucking, pussy eating, and some beautiful doggy-style.
Is There Any End to this Pile of Porn?
I keep mentioning all the famous pornstars on PornHoarder.tv, and I imagine some of you astute readers have already done the math. Big-name pornstars aren’t getting their brains fucked out on no-name porn sites, which means there’s a ton of content in this collection from big-name studios and paysites. For example, that Jewelz Blu movie I watched came from Nubiles. Also, other movies added today come from sources like BangBros, Blacked, NetVideoGirls, TrueAnal, and Backroom Casting Couch. And since this is 2022, there are also a fair number of OnlyFans leaks hitting the site regularly.
The big-name updates never seem to stop, either. Every time I refresh the front page as I’m whipping up this write-up, there’s a handful of new scenes to beat off to. A new movie is added to PornHoarder every few minutes. It’d be literally impossible to watch everything on the site, even if you started now and had an endless lube supply.
I just refreshed PornHoarder’s front page again, and there’s a new twenty-minute video called Sadie Pop Goth Girl Emergency. The titular topless goth girl looks sexy in the thumbnail, so it seemed like a good place to begin my official fap test. So I clicked through to the video page and hit the Play button.
You’re definitely going to want to use a spam blocker when watching PornHoarder. I recommend using one all the time when you’re online, but in this case, the spam is particularly bad. Also, even with my adblocker running, I had some pop-up issues and usually had to click the Play buttons more than once. All in all, though, it’s a very low price to pay for all these full-length movies.
After closing the pop-ups and hitting the button a few times, the movie finally started playing. The cute, tatted slut is wearing nothing but fishnets as the video opens. It’s shot POV, reality-porn style, so we get some close-up BJ shots early on, plus some unexpected salad tossing before the dude starts drilling her raw dog. She looks gorgeous riding a cock, her perky boobs bouncing as she moves.
Sadie Pop had a few more videos on Porn Hoarder, linked conveniently below the first one I watched. I’m not ashamed to admit I fell down the rabbit hole again and that this is my fourth day writing this review. I’m finally going to finish this time, and then I’m probably going to go back inside for personal reasons. There’s just so much to see and so much to do, by which I mean I will be whacking off until I go to bed.
PornHoarder.tv has a bit of spam, but that’s to be expected on a free porn site of this size, especially when it’s stocked with so many full-length dirty movies. It’s a reasonable tradeoff, especially when you consider how much money you’re going to save and how much productivity this site is absolutely going to destroy. Just try not to crank off too much on company time, I guess.