I was browsing Ero Japanese this morning, and the whole time I was thinking about how good the younger weeaboos and perverts have it these days. I remember when Japanese porn was still hard to come by in the West. A couple of times, I ordered DVDs from overseas, choosing carefully from slim catalogs that only hinted at the full scale of Japanese perversion. Then I waited patiently for weeks, hoping they weren’t region-locked so they’d actually work in my player when they arrived. And well, even when they did play, I’d still be in the fucking dark about what those office ladies, superheroines, and bondage sluts were talking about in between high-pitched squeals and moans. I’d have to work out the plot myself while jerking off to the censored Asian vaginas.
Things are a lot different these days, as you’re undoubtedly aware. For one thing, JAV is way fucking easier for Americans and English-speakers in general to watch. I’ve reviewed a shit-ton of free Asian porn tubes here at ThePornDude, where you can peruse vast, instantly accessible archives of the stuff. Most of it is still censored, but more and more of the unedited shit is hitting the internet every day. Likewise, with subtitles: there’s still a lot of guesswork with the dialog, but English-language subtitles are more widely available today than ever before.
And that brings me to EroJapanese.com, today’s topic of conversation. They specialize in translating and subtitling Japanese Adult Video (JAV). It takes a fair amount of time and effort to get this done, so naturally, you’ll need to bring your wallet to this one. Some of you may be shaking your heads, thinking you’ll just settle for the paltry selection of translated Japanese porn you’ll find on the tubes. That’s an option, sure, but EroJapanese got a hundred thousand visitors in December. You don’t pull those kinds of numbers unless you’ve got something special to offer, and I had to find out exactly what it is.
Take in a Sample or Stream Something Dirty
When I first pulled up EroJapanese, I thought it was another JAV tube. The layout is clean but pretty damn simple, and much of the page is dedicated to the same kind of DVD covers you see on a tube of the stuff. Then I noticed the pricing and realized this wasn’t another collection of freebies.
There are some freebies available in their collection of the same name, though. But I’m always skeptical of buying anything without getting a sneak peek first, so I appreciate the free look sees. In addition, they offer a discount code (MYFREEBIE), so new members can check out one of five available titles completely free. However, I noticed that some of them were freely streamable without even signing up for an account. SACE-051: My Teacher Pet, featuring the lovely Risa Kasumi, for example, would typically cost $3.99, one EroKoin (their custom site currency), or that freebie code mentioned above, but the full three-hour flick is also embedded in the page. Hit the Closed Caption button, and you’ll see those English subtitles they’re peddling here.
EroJapanese offers a link to download the movie file that matches the subtitle you’re purchasing for free for all movies on sale. Check the Instructions file provided in every zip file you’ll download after buying any product. If you happen to have an HD movie file with a different length than the one provided, you may have to re-sync the subtitles to that movie file. How you will do this is explained in their FAQ. You shouldn’t have a problem as long as you aren’t a senile old fart who gets confused by high-tech marvels like Netflix and voicemail.
If you don’t keep a collection of JAV files on your hard drive and would just prefer the convenience of streaming movies on your phone, they do have a streaming membership available. Like most paysites, it will run you thirty bucks a month, making it cheaper than many premium JAV sites. (JAVHD, for example, will run you fifty bones a month.) The downside is that for now, they’ve only got 80+ movies. However, from repeated visits to EroJapanese, I noticed they are adding 2-5 titles per month to the streaming section. They are subtitled, though, which may be your determining factor if you’re all about plotlines and dirty talk.
Getting Down to the Prices
Let’s say you have a nice, personal collection of JAV saved up, and you were hoping to understand more of the words. In that case, EroJapanese.com has a few ways they can help you. The priciest way to go, and the only way to go if your movie hasn’t been captioned yet, is to get your own custom JAV subtitles made. The regular rate is just over a buck a minute, with a surcharge for “Gangbangs”. I put “Gangbangs” in quotes because they’re counting as such any movie that includes a scene with more than two people getting down and dirty.
There’s also a crowdfunding option, which might be a good idea if you wish to subtitle a movie with a relatively popular actress and with support from fellow fans. In that case, they say, “you may end up paying only 48 USD per movie requested”. I guess these crowds of funders aren’t huge, but hey, it’s still a big break on the price.
I’m guessing most of Ero Japanese’s customers are fucking with the already produced 1,100+ subtitles. In that case, they offer different price points and membership options. Those seeking subtitles for just a movie or two will probably prefer to buy them individually. The prices vary, with titles running between $3.99 and $7.99.
On the other hand, if you watch a lot of JAV and want a lot of subs, you’ll be best served by one of the monthly membership plans. They’ve got four coin-based tiers aimed at consumers of various quantities of Japanese porn. For example, the Crystal Membership plan ($15 USD/month) fetches you 5 EroKoins (their site currency) that you can use to acquire five subtitles every month, while the Gold Membership plan ($45 USD/month) includes 45 EroKoins. EroKoins expire every month, so you better use all your EroKoins before the month’s over. On top of the included free downloads, members get discounts on any further subs beyond their limit.
That’s a Huge Collection of English Subs
Given how EroJapanese.com works, I assume most users just type their JAV titles into the search bar instead of browsing through the categories. That said, I do appreciate the loose grouping of their 1,100+ subtitles into categories like Beloved, Classics, Latest Releases, and Hall of Fame. In addition, the Sale area features 30+ discounted products updated every two weeks, which may or may not be of any use, depending on what’s already in your own collection.
EroJapanese has a browsable Category index featuring actresses and other kinks that may help orient newbies on the peculiarities of JAV. Categories like Body Exchange, Harem, Invisible Man, Old Man, and Superheroine are just some we don’t really see in Western porno. I’m a professional masturbator, and I still find new niches from time to time on the JAV tubes.
However you browse the catalog, though, you’re in for a fucking treat. The current catalog includes over a thousand movie subtitles. Based on all the material in the Latest Releases section, it looks like EroJapanese is growing at a fucking respectable rate producing in-house over 200 subtitles every year. As they continue to grow in popularity and pick up more paying customers, I expect it’ll grow exponentially.
I wouldn’t have believed it was real if somebody had described EroJapanese.com to me a decade ago. The concept is simple, but it needs a fair amount of traffic and, more importantly, paying customers to work. It’s a goddamn testament to the strength of the global masturbation community that this site exists at all and that it’s as popular as it is. Weeaboos, victims of yellow fever, and Asian porn fans, in general, love their smut, and they’re willing to pay to understand the dialog. It’s kind of ironic when you consider how much JAV some of you cheapskates are stealing. How’d you fill up that hard drive, anyway?
Porn sites can be difficult to recommend because so many of them offer the same basic shit. Hell, many of them are peddling the same exact material in different packaging. EroJapanese.com stands out because they’re offering something that nobody else is selling, making them an easy recommendation for anybody looking for that particular something. So, how about it? Do you want to understand what all those Japanese waifus, schoolgirls, and sluts are saying? For a few bucks, EroJapanese can help you out.
The site accepts cards through Verotel and Vendo and local payment for the Asia-Pacific (APAC) region through XanPay. As a special courtesy to our readers, use coupon PORNDUDEFRIEND20 to get a 20% discount on your first purchase of individual subtitles. Discount does not apply to other offers or memberships.