Bronze skin like a ray of sunlight. Booty cheeks like watermelon halves. Rhythmic hips used to grind dicks down with pussy so tight your cock thinks it’s being attacked with garrot wire. Latina bitches are one of the most popular genres of porn for a good reason. What isn’t there to love?
I know you’ve seen a beautiful Latin bitch dance before. Think about Jennifer Lopez or Shakira and the way they move their hips. You don’t ever see white bitches shaking their hips like that. If Shakira sat on your dick and danced “Hips Don’t Lie,” your eyes would pop out of your head. You would shoot a nut so hard it would make cum fly out of her spinning skull like a one-person bukake water sprinkler. You would cum so hard one of your testicles would fly out and knock your grandmother’s urn off the fireplace mantel. I’m just kidding. I know there’s not a fireplace inside your Mom’s basement.
Let us not forget about the DSLs, also known as dick-sucking lips. There’s nothing like the feeling of thick, full lips stroking up and down on your Jimmy Johnson. It feels like freedom. It’s meditative. I feel like a Tibetan monk seeking oneness and clarity in the ripples of a pond or bubbling of a brook. The difference is that the bubbling sound is her gagging and choking on my erect cock.
I know it’s not a tit, ass cheek, or pussy lip, but Latin bitches’ faces are gorgeous. No matter how great everything else is, the first thing one sees on a bitch is her face. The face is the icing on the cake body. It brings the whole dish together. Those beautiful bronze cheeks and tan lips call out for a splash of white cum.
Speaking of lips, Spanish is a romance language for a reason. That reason is Spanish dirty talk sounds sexy as fuck. If you have never had Spanish whispered into your ear while a bitch rides you, cowgirl, then you haven’t lived. What am I talking about? The chances of someone with the intellect required to speak the language wanting to fuck you is slim to none.
Your Parents, the President, and the Pope
Everyone knows the stereotype of the fiery Latin bitch. Latin bitches are the kind of women that will slash your tires and key your car. Men don’t put up with all that bullshit without expecting a reward. That reward is the most insane sex you’ve had in your life - the kind of sex you tell your parents about. The type of sex you write a letter to the president about. The sexy you send the Pope a tape of.
I’m fully aware you will never get to have a sexual experience that even remotely resembles anything I’ve talked about here, but that’s why porn exists. Sure, nobody wants to fuck you, Latin or not, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to watch. Those that can’t do, teach or watch a bunch of it on the internet.
There’s no shortage of places to get your fill of these bitches, but few are as well prepared as Sxyprn. These motherfuckers were so busy building you a top-notch porn website that they didn’t have time to use vowels. Who needs them, though? I prefer vulvas over vowels any day of the week.
Sxyprn has a fun and unique aesthetic that reminds me of hacking or the dark web. It has a sleek yet naughty appeal. The gunmetal grey background both ads to the mystic and is easy on the eyes. I can’t have my retinas giving out on me halfway through a sixteen-hour “workday.”
Befitting the look of the place, Sxyprn does offer torrents along with videos hosted on the site. They took the time saved not typing vowels and spent it making torrenting simple and easy. Many sites give users the run around for fifteen minutes before offering the slowest torrent physically possible. Sxyprn knows you don’t have time for that kind of bullshit.
The main menu runs along the top and has the options Home, A search bar, Live, Porn pix, Torrents, Porn wall, Noti, Community, Playlist, Watch later, Trends, Top pop, top viewed, and Orgasmic.
Believe it or not, the live section is not a link to Bongacams or Chaterbate, nor is it live performers. Instead, the live section is full of recorded live performances. I’m a big fan of recorded live streams. They maintain the amateur feel, but I don’t have to wonder if I will end up liking the content. I’ve wasted more than my fair share of time watching lackluster live performers. There are plenty of Spanish performers to help make your Shakira fantasy come alive.
Sxyprn has a thriving community full of users passionate about their porn consumption. The content getting exchanged here is some of the best shit you’ve never heard of. The amateur content alone is worth the trip. There are a shit ton of different forums. I estimate it numbers about six thousand forums, with some having thirty thousand posts and one million likes. Plenty of those posts include sexy Latin vixens that love nothing more than to ride cock all day.
The orgasmic section contains all the most popular content on the site. It’s no surprise that much of this content is Latin cunt oriented. Some of the most trending videos pick up nearly one hundred thousand views in their first day, along with tons of likes and comments. The comment sections of most porn sites are devoid of commenters. Users on Sxyprn, on the other hand, love to let the pornoverse know what their opinion of some shit is. These are not your run-of-the-mill everyday porn watchers. These are PornDudes ilk. The type of people I do this work for. I salute you, bastards.
The porn wall acts as the main page of the site. Plus, when you search for something like “Latina,” it’s the porn wall you will be linked to. There are two menus to help filter your search results. The first has the options Videos, Other, Photos, and Torrents. Of these, Torrents and others are the most popular. The second menu contains the options Latest, Trending, Views, and Orgasmic, along with a list of related tags such as Latina anal, Latina POV, and Big ass Latina.
Call Me a Recruiter
“Lesbian Allure Part 4” with Kristina Rose and Chayse Evans is one of my favorite videos on Sxyprn. This starts with a general looking over a desert cliff at one of her privates, moving tires around through the sand. The sun and soft sand make the task difficult, and the general can’t stand how much of a little bitch she looks like. Is this soldier more concerned with breaking a nail than serving her country? What a sack of shit. She better teach this bitch a lesson.
I’m not sure what the lesson being taught here is. I thought the general was going to yell at a bitch. The last time I checked, oral sex isn’t punishment. If oral sex were a punishment, I would be a serial killer and drug dealer. What branch of the military do I have to join to wind up getting a blow job when I fuck up instead of running laps? I’ll be the most patriotic fuck up you’ve ever seen.
Sxyprn might not fuck with vowels, but they fuck with fucking all fucking day long. You will love the selection of Latin porn they offer. Given the thousands and thousands of options, you will be busy for a while. Not only that, but you can choose to either watch content on the site or torrent it for later use. Many of my readers like to maintain their own library in case the apocalypse happens. Fuck hoarding weapons and food. I’ll horde porn and exchange it for food and weapons when needed.
There are two things I would improve on Sxyprn. Number one is the fucking pop-ups. There are just enough pop-ups to make you want to shoot your neighbor. They have to cut them back if they’re going to become a well-known site. Second, when watching content on-site, it’s a bitch to scrub through footage. There’s no pause, fast forward, or rewind.
Sxyprn has a supply that will keep your balls coming back for more every time pocket pool is on the menu.