Jerking off is serious business. It’s not just a hobby for me. It’s a way of life. It’s why I get up in the morning and how I pay my mortgage. That doesn’t mean porn can’t be funny, though. I’ve been around my fair share of porn sets, and trust me, shit can get pretty goofy. But how could it not? It’s a goofy situation. Imagine waiting around naked to start rolling while twenty other clothed professionals run around tending to equipment that’s about to film you fucking.
In such a setting, bloopers happen all the time. Porn bloopers are a lot different from your regular TV or movie set bloopers. The dirtiest a blooper might get on standard sets is an untimely fart. Let me tell you. An untimely fart is a very different slip-up on a porn set. I’ve both seen it happen and been the farter, but it’s far from as dirty as a slip-up can get.
When a group of porn studio film professionals gets bored, hilarity always ensues. You might think your Aunty gets kooky at family luncheons, but does she get kooky enough to let Uncle Albert stick his whole bald head in her pussy? Probably not. At least not at the lunch table.
Shit like that happens at porn shoot lunch breaks every day. Basically, anytime two porn actors have some time on their hands between scenes, they are sticking shit in their holes. So I’ll often bring random objects with me to porn shoots just to leave around the room, knowing that eventually, someone is going to pick it up and wonder if it would fit in their asshole.
The Pussy Pipe
One of my life’s greatest moments took place on a porn set. To be fair, many of my life’s greatest moments took place on a porn set, but this one sticks out amongst the rest. As you can imagine, most porn professionals like to smoke a little pot and have no qualms about getting their heads right during a long day of work.
During one such break, a production staff member on a porn shoot I was helping out broke out his shotgun. I don’t mean his gun. I mean the weed-smoking device. It basically looks like the top half of a bong without the water bulb. It’s just a straight tube with a bowl to put your smokable in. By putting in a long stem and placing the shotgun in a bucket of water, you can turn it into a rudimentary bong.
Well, that’s just what these guys did, except that instead of a bucket of water, they used a bitch’s pussy. She became the human bong. Things were going well until it started turning this bitch on. Shortly, she is demanding we smoke faster and faster. I step up as the last guy to take a rip, but just as I start breathing in, this bitch cums and squirts up the bong into my mouth. Needless to say, my cock never got hard so quickly in my life. The actress was very apologetic and even “made up for it” by sucking my cock. What a magical day that was.
Insane events like that happen on porn sets around the world every day. I know you guys don’t work on porn sets, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get a peek into the world behind the scenes. Don’t forget that there are cameras everywhere on a porn shoot, so rarely does shit like a pussy bong happen without someone filming it.
Funny categories on porn sites aren’t common, but plenty of places have them. Xnxx has one of my favorite selections, though. They have hundreds of videos that will have you laughing at the same time you’re stroking your manhood.
If you consider yourself any form of a decent masturbator, you already know about Xnxx. They have been around for what seems like centuries at this point. They have become part of the fabric that’s the tapestry of porn. Xnxx will go down in the porn history books as one of the best to ever do it. We all owe Xnxx a debt of gratitude. If I had a dime for every time I released a nut while visiting this legend, I would be a rich man.
With that said, you should already know they have amassed a hilarious collection of funny ass porn. It’s so good I just want to dive right in. “Funniest Porn Bloopers, Sex Mistakes Compilation” had me cracking up from beginning to end. It starts with a woman dancing in her bra and panties for a live stream. Behind her is a window with a sheet over it for privacy. In the middle of her sexy dance, the sheet falls to reveal a man outside trimming his bushes. It sounds like a setup in a movie, not real life.
Of course, this guy is immediately intrigued. He looks to be about fifty or so. His wife probably hasn’t touched his cock in months. This guy gives exactly no fucks, so he walks right up to the window to get a better view. A few seconds later, this dude is joined by another guy who sidles right up for them also. I thought they were about to start jerking each other off for a second. When the chick finally turns around, she is horrified by what she sees. I hope those dudes aren’t her neighbors.
Crouching Anus, Hidden Dildo
In another of my favorite clips, a guy is dildoing a bitch’s asshole when he decides to bite down on it and use his mouth to shove it in her ass. It must have been this bitch’s first porn because they choose to use a dildo with no stopper, so when he goes a bit too deep, the whole thing disappears into her brown eye.
She takes this turn of events in stride, though. She tries squatting down to shit it out while the guy tries to help with a couple of fingers. When that doesn’t work, they bring in one of the producers to give it a shot. I have to give this guy points for being a smooth character. He is sweetly calming her down while he has his fist in her ass, hunting for that dildo. It finally takes the touch of another woman to fish that bad boy out, though.
The clip my audience should really watch is the third one on this video. In it, a fat overweight sixty-year-old dude is fucking this hot teen. He has no place fucking this bitch. The worse part is this man has been cursed with a micro-penis. This thing is fucking minuscule.
As the clip plays out, it switches between a few different ladies. Soon it becomes clear this is less taped for porn and more taped for this guy’s personal collection. I’m guessing the girls came over under the guise of filming porn when in all reality, mister tiny-cock is looking for an excuse to fuck young poon. Despite the guy’s lack of dick, he can’t stop asking these hoes if he is hurting them. The girls keep making it very clear that it would be impossible for him to hurt them.
The clip ends with a bitch getting “turned out” doggy style when suddenly she turns and asks if he is going to cum. He says not yet. She tells him it’s not “cool” for him to cum inside her because she is not on birth control, but when he pulls out, it’s clear he has just busted a fat nut. Well, not a fat nut, but a nut nonetheless.
Xnxx is one of the best porn sites ever to bless this planet. Every porn site to come out in the last twenty years owes it some appreciation. This world wouldn’t be the porn playground it is today without them. If Xnxx is going to do something, they will do it well, so when they made a funny category, they made it hilarious. You won’t know whether to laugh or cum. Personally, I like to do both simultaneously.
Xnxx has been around forever, so they have had plenty of time to develop a fantastic website. There isn’t much left to improve on at this point. However, I will point out that their funny category has become large enough to make a couple of sub-categories. Perhaps they could split the content into bloopers and funny porn.
When I need a good laugh, I turn to the porn goofs on Xnxx. You didn’t think I like to watch the funniest home videos or some dumb shit, did you? No. I only watch porn, so if I need a laugh, I watch something porn-related. I didn’t get to be the PornDude resting on my laurels.