What’s the deal with Pissy Network? Is it a message board for bitchy Karens to air their daily grievances about not being the center of the world, or maybe it’s a cable channel devoted only to the most furious of angry dudes? Come on—why the hell would I be talking about that kind of bullshit around here? If there’s one thing I love, it’s something to jerk off to, and sometimes that goes well with a refreshing eruption of lemonade.
PissyNetwork.com is a network of premium piss porn paysites all on the same ticket. I’m a big fan of networks because they tend to be a great bang for your buck, and this one promises to have more specialized, ultra-wet, and freaky content than some of the bigger networks. They may not be as popular as multi-brand sites like TeamSkeet or RealityKings, but they make those big boys look almost vanilla. Now, who’s up for some motherfucking watersports?
European Girls with Full Bladders
PissyNetwork pretty much tells you what you’re getting right there in the title, but in case you’re illiterate, the tour page smells it out even more vividly. Did I say smells it out? Oops. It must be all the pee fumes getting to my head because every single photo out front shows a hot girl or two and a whole lot of flowing fluids.
I notice a few things right away. For one thing, they aren’t shooting with the biggest names in the business, but the whole thing’s stocked with sexy Euro models, amateurs, and pornstars. I thought I spotted Gianna Dior on the front page, but it turned out to be her Czech doppelganger from Prague. Honestly, it’s pretty rare to see the more popular pornstars doing any pee stuff, which is one of the reasons my lemonade scenes over at PornDudeCasting have been so popular. (I gave Natasha Nice her first-ever taste of the stuff!)
I wish the PissyNetwork.com tour told you exactly how many sites are included in the membership. They list a few, including Wet and Pissy, VIPissy, and Got2Pee, but then go on to say the contents are subject to change. That’s typical, but I can also tell you it’s typical for networks to expand rather than contract. So whatever I find in there today is probably going to be there a year from now, and hopefully, they’ll have rolled in even more pee sites by then.
And while I won’t know until I get inside the full scope of the included sites, I can already see one implication of that setup that I like a whole lot: there’s a great variety of pee porn in here. You’ll find solo girls pissing on porn sets as they fuck themselves or while out and about in public. There are lesbian movies where girls are showering each other with gold, as well as hardcore scenes that mix up the usual fucking and sucking with some bladder-draining geysers of the good stuff.
Cheaper Than a Coke Bottle of Homeless Piss
If you’ve been getting your fetish porn from OnlyFans or any of the clip sale sites, you’re probably used to paying way fucking more for your fap fodder than the average Joe Blow who appreciates the common teen blowjob. Niche content producers can often gouge the fuck out of prices simply because there isn’t much competition. So just based on that, I kind of figured PissyNetwork was going to charge more than the usual thirty bucks you pay for the more traditional paysites.
It turns out I was way off. Pissy Network is really fucking cheap. Fucking hell, it’s just the economics of shooting smut in Eastern Europe, I guess - because they’d be struggling to break even in the United States. Pissy Network is just eight bucks for the first month and then fifteen for each recurring month. The yearly rate breaks down to an even six bones per month, which is a hell of a deal even on a longer membership. Their Lifetime membership is fifty bucks less than what I’m charging at PornDudeCasting, but mine’s a limited edition, and I’ve got bigger names.
The tour page promises five updates a week, and looking at the upload dates; it looks like they deliver. They’re not putting out movies on a really tight schedule, but they are dropping a new piss flick almost every day. Some days you luck out and get more than one, and I never say no to a double. The more, the merrier. This is especially when it’s about pretty girls making big wet puddles of urine beneath their feet and on the faces of their beautiful European costars.
Another thing they promise out front is over 1000 scenes. It looks like PissyNetwork is growing so fast that they’re having a hard time keeping the facts straight for the tour. Once I got inside, I saw they actually have over 2,000 movies ready for your masturbatory perusal. Today’s first release features a lovely brunette playing with her pussy and her piss for a good twenty-six minutes. (They’ve also got a short solo outdoor scene coming out in a few hours.)
Speaking of those solo scenes, if I have one immediate complaint about the site, it’s that some of the scenes are really fucking short. I noticed that the scenes where girls are doing dirty stuff indoors usually run for around half an hour, but the outdoor tinkles are only a minute or two. Most of the releases are these types of clips, but Pissy Network typically releases at least a couple of the longer scenes every week, so it’s still a killer value for your money.
Peeping on Pretty Girls Peeing
I’ve never been shy about admitting I’m a kinky motherfucker, so I figured I’d begin my official Pissy Network fap test with one of the hardcore or lesbian scenes instead of a solo show. Lucky for me, one of the earlier updates this week was a half-hour girl-on-girl piss flick called Cynthia Vellons Pissing With Friends. In the thumbnail, one brunette is taking a leak right into another one’s waiting mouth.
I clicked through to the video page, and the scene started playing immediately, opening with big, splashy, wet intro VIPissy. By default, the movie streamed in 720p, but I didn’t have any serious buffering issues as I maxed it out at 1080p. Hopefully, they’ll keep up with the times and add 4k soon.
The video starts with the two babes in tight, sexy dresses making out and feeling each other up. They’ve got some champagne glasses on the coffee table, but they’re empty. They seem to notice this at the same time, and the older chick is taking a whizz into one before we’ve even hit the two-minute mark. Piss is clearly the big deal and main event here, not just a little sideshow they throw in halfway through a more traditional porn scene. “Cheers!” they say as they gulp down lady lemonade.
They’re some really fucking well-hydrated girls, too! I wonder if PissyNetwork.com found them in some medical research center for beautiful women with massively oversized bladders because they’ve got so much pee to pee! The champagne glasses are overfilled and spilling all over the floor just a few minutes into the scene, and we’ve still got a long way to go.
I don’t want to spoil anything, but there’s pussy eating, dildo play, and masturbation, and the entire production is just drenched in piss. The girls are glistening with the stuff towards the end, and they just keep spraying pee everywhere. My only complaint is that I don’t see a Download button anywhere. I fucking hate when paysites withhold the downloads, but at least the entry fee was really low.
There’s a lot to love about PissyNetwork.com, at least if you’re the type of dude who loves pissy sluts. The site’s got a nice mix of solo girls peeing outside and the more professionally shot scenes inside, with a deep collection and a fucking ton of updates. This would be a good deal even if it weren’t a fetish site, but niche content usually costs a pretty fucking penny. So this one’s an easy recommendation to any of you perverts who can’t get enough lemonade.