Tantaly

I’ve been browsing Tantaly for the last couple of days with a semi-hard dick, which isn’t all that strange for me. I am, after all, the world’s foremost Internet smut expert, and I spend my days looking at adult websites. The unusual thing is that Tantaly isn’t even a porn site; they sell high-end sex doll torsos. I never pop a woody looking at even the most expensive Fleshlight, but wait until you see the fucking curves on these headless fake ladies. I initially intended to just do a little PornDude write-up of the website and the company, but now I’m honestly wondering if I should go all-in on one of their nicer models with the electric cooter. My libido’s been great for getting famous on the web, but it sure can get expensive.

Tantaly.com is only a couple of years old, but it doesn’t take long to make a name for yourself when people are having so much fun sticking their dicks in your products. Their decapitated fuck-bodies have been seen in Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, and Bustle, which is cool and all, but they’re finally about to get a little attention from yours truly. So let’s see how they stack up against some of the other big-boy sex toys out there.

Hold Up – Is Tantaly Legit?

I’ll be honest; I only found out Tantaly was in Cosmo and those other paper rags because it says so on their landing page. I’d heard the company’s name mentioned a couple of times before, but I ultimately decided to check out the site because a reader dropped me a line asking about it. So I checked it out, and one of my first questions was whether or not the site was legit. There are a lot of scams out there that prey on hard-up dudes, and well, the sloppy Engrish all over the website isn’t a good sign.

I did some homework on Google, though, and it put me at ease. A couple of Reddit posts had the same question I did about the site’s legitimacy, and they were always met with happy, satisfied users who had used the product. I also found some of their products reviewed well on Amazon, but I ran into a pretty goddamn funny glitch. If you type Tantaly into their search bar, the first result is for Durvey Ivermectin Paste Dewormer; the same horse paste the anti-vaxxers have been eating lately. Unfortunately, actual Tantaly products don’t even show up in the Amazon search results, thanks to the adult filter.

I also found a fair number of people unboxing and reviewing Tantaly.com torsos on YouTube. Holy shit, my dudes, these things have a beautifully realistic jiggle. That’s the magic of TPE and silicone. The Tantaly.com website has some of their own embedded YouTube videos, but I feel like third-party randos are a better source for unbiased info than the commercials.

That was enough proof that Tantaly is a legit website, but I want to get into why I was hesitant in the first place. Their About Us page is fucking vague. They say their team has been in the sex toy business for over a decade, but they don’t tell you where the company was founded or by whom. The whole thing is written in seriously broken English that makes it feel crappy as fuck, like you’re about to either buy a knockoff Gucci bag or just get your identity stolen.

The site offers free shipping, which I certainly am not going to complain about. Besides, I saw several reviews where people were happily surprised by how quickly the toys came. That said, the website doesn’t tell you where they ship from. They mention “Domestic Orders,” which implies they’re in the US, but I wonder if somebody used that word without understanding what it means because English is their fourth language. On the other hand, maybe they really are based in and shipping from the United States, in which case this whole misunderstanding is an excellent example of why you should hire a native-English speaker to write your web copy. I shouldn’t have had to spend an hour trying to find out if the site’s a scam, but the language issue (and the vague About Us page) makes it look shady.

Now Let’s Look at Those Fancy Sex Toys

Once I’d established that Tantaly was legit, I felt more comfortable browsing the selection, knowing it was shit I could actually buy if I were horny enough. As much action as I get over at PornDudeCasting lately, I’ve still always got a boner that needs taking care of. These toys seem like a nice upgrade from my increasingly hairy palms and safer than the sexbot I made out of old Pringles cans and a broken vacuum.

They are a little pricier, though. Unlike those no-name silicone mouths you can buy at the porn store for ten bucks, the cheapest sex torso here is a hundred bucks. That’s honestly cheap as fuck for a realistic sex doll, as you’ll already know if you’ve ever shopped around. The caveat here is that the entry-level model is their 9.25-pound mini portable sex doll, Dita. Like her bigger sisters, Dita has no arms, legs, or head.

You’ll find the weight listed in the item name for all of Tantaly’s headless, limbless sex dolls, and there’s a rough correlation between weight and price. Moving up the ladder to the next price point, $210 will buy you a fifteen-pound “youthful” torso or a twenty-pound sex ass. For $900, you can get Monroe, their nearly 70-pound plumper torso.

I decided to take a closer look at Monroe’s listing, and even though she’s headless, armless, and cut off right above the knees, she isn’t bad-looking. Hell, if I was some of the deranged murderers, she might be exactly my type. (Maybe they can even make a Black Dahlia model for the necrophiles and goths.) So I flipped through the images, imagining sticking my dick in her, and you know what? I got harder thinking about it.

I think they do a good job with the photography. It’s not just that they’ve put Monroe in different bras and skirts or that they’ve shown close-up shots of the titties and the fuckable holes. I think the framing of the shots reminds you of what you’re looking at when you actually fuck. No, there isn’t going to be a head if you look up while you’re banging away, but you can watch those jugs shake with every slam. Honestly, that’s more appealing to me than staring into some dead-eyed dummy’s blowjob-mouth expression.

Altogether, Tantaly.com currently sells thirteen different models of torsos and sexy asses. (There’s also a male torso with a permanent erection, but he’s currently sold out.) It’s a nice little range of products in different shapes and sizes, though these shops are always better with more options. More skin tones would be a good place to start. All of the current models are available in Fair (white girl), and maybe half of them also come in Wheat (black girl), but that’s it.

I’d also like to see more products available with electronic vaginas, like Lisa, the Sports Strongly Sucking Butt. Lisa will cost you almost six hundred bucks, but the blurb promises you’ll “Feel A Suction That You Can’t Escape!” I’m not sure if I should be terrified or turned on, but I’m a little bit of both.

My wallet’s having a minor issue trying to escape the suction, that’s for sure. Compared to full-size sex dolls, Tantaly’s realistic torsos are pretty damn enticing. The big question is whether they’ll fill the same needs as the bigger sex dolls even without the heads, arms, and legs. Ultimately, I’m sure it boils down to personal choice and what you’re looking for in a sex doll. If you want something lifelike and fuckable that doesn’t need its own whole goddamn closet; this might be exactly the alternative you’ve been looking for.