My penis is an equal opportunity employer. I haven’t found a type of lady I wouldn’t fuck, and I’m pretty sure that’s because they don’t exist. If there’s tits, pussy, and ass involved, so am I. Women are sexy, my penis is hard, and that’s all that matters. On that note, I’m not sure why Indian porn doesn’t get more love, especially amongst the amateur crowd. If you are a fan of amateur porn and haven’t checked out some homemade Indian shit, you are definitely fucking up.
Much of the porn being distributed from India has been homemade. Studio porn happens, but those releases are few and far between in comparison. I bet you already know that these bitches are freaky. They invented the Kama Sutra, for fucks sake. Who else spent decades forming a collection of the best sexual positions? You don’t just do that for shits and giggles. You do that because you are passionate about crushing puss and busting fat nuts. Trust me; you need a piece of this expertise.
As a whole, the book is not just about sex. It’s actually a guide to living well and enjoying being on Earth. Sex is, of course, a considerable part of the joy humans are capable of experiencing. To me, the perfect day consists of naps, good food, and great sex. What else does one need? Personal fulfillment? Well, that sounds like some pussy shit to me. Professional fulfillment? Who the fuck am I? Rupert Murdoch? Fulfilling relationships? Yeah, with my dick.
Vatsyayana Mallanaga is credited as the author, though he says he compiled other ancient texts as part of his writing. No one knows who this guy was, but it’s pretty clear he fucked. This dude must have had one of the greatest dick games in all of history. If I had a time machine, that’s who I would visit. Kill baby Hitler? What am I, a history major with a minor in ethics? Speak with Einstein? No way did that dude fuck. I think he was autistic or some shit. I might visit that one Ethiopian dude that was the wealthiest guy ever. He pilgrimaged with wagons full of gold and bitches. That guy fucks for sure.
My understanding is that modern man’s nutritious diet has made us larger. But does that mean if I go back in time, the pussies get tighter and the dicks smaller? If I march into a first-century bar and whip out my cock will it be worshipped as a deity? Will I be tearing bitches pussies up to their assholes? All questions I can never hope to answer. Fortunately, my TSRPV2 (Tesla Sex Robot Prototype Version 2) has a first-century setting. It tightens the pussy and creates inspirational dialog such as “Wow, that’s a fat hog you got on you, mysterious traveler,” and “I’m not sure my pussy will survive this walloping.”
The Sutra Bator
Believe it or not, I am preparing to release my own version of the Kama Sutra called “The Sutra Bator.” If you haven’t guessed, it’s a Kama Sutra for us masturbation addicts. Don’t tell me that you have only been masturbating in one position? God damn, what a shitty boring life you must lead. Not only do you get no pussy, but you don’t even bother mixing up your pocket pool. You can’t just play eight ball all the time.
The book is sort of like if Andy Dick was a yoga teacher. You don’t have to be particularly flexible, but great balance does help. I also recommend wearing a rock climber’s waist-mounted chalk bag filled with lube. Not only will you experience the best orgasms of your life, but you might even lose a pound or two. You could certainly use it, you fat sack of shit.
While preparing to use my jerk manual, why not travel to Desivdo for inspiration. Desivdo is an Indian, Hindu, and desi porn tube site filled with mostly homemade amateur content that will put your dick to work.
The site is as simple as it can be. The main menu - if you can call it that - sits up top and only has the options Home, New video, and New sex video. Not sure why it’s set up as such, but the difference between new sex video and new video is that new sex video takes you to a sister site. The sister site has the exact same content and layout as Desivdo. The admin is trying to hedge their bet and spread out the product.
On the right side is a large tag list. The more popular the tag, the larger the font it is displayed in. Some of the more popular tags are Desi, Girl, Indian, Pussy, Fucking, Bhabi, Boobs, Wife, Part, and sexy. There’s nothing too surprising here. And besides that, the only other thing on the main page is content. All videos on Desivdo are available to watch on the site and download for your personal library.
Watch and Download
Clicking a selection brings up a video player and download button. Clicking download brings up a full-screen version and a menu that includes download. From there, you can download it without using a third-party service. How fucking awesome is that? Very few sites offer downloads without doing an entire song and dance of skipping past pop-ups. Downloads happen fast, and you can be watching the video from your own computer in seconds.
You will run into pop-ups on the site proper, though. When they appear, you will stay on Desivdo, but it will load up on a new tab while the current tab becomes the ad. It’s not the most annoying form of pop-up, but it’s still not fun. However, the easy download process more than makes up for it.
Each video comes with a small stats sheet that shows a short description, Related categories, Related tags, When it was added, and the number of views. Getting the extended detail sheet to drop-down can be a bitch. Pop-ups will stop you the first couple of times, but oddly enough, the pop-up is another Desivdo window. Perhaps it’s an easy way to increase traffic for advertisers. I imagine they won’t be happy about that, but you have to make money.
There’s a wide range of content getting added to Desivdo every day. A large portion of the video is of couples fucking. Bitches that love voyeur are all over the place. It’s almost all homemade, so you will feel like you’re on a tree outside their bedroom. This time, though, you don’t have to worry about getting arrested because you sprayed a cop’s face down with hot, fresh cum. It turns out they do not appreciate that sort of thing.
There are also plenty of solo ladies showing off what their mama gave them. Some of these bitches are pure perfection. The morning after you jerk to these bitches, you will find your cock filling out an online passport registration and scheduling a flight to India. You’ll be upset at first, but you won’t argue.
Indian people love fucking their aunts for whatever reason, so there’s plenty of Aunt fucking content. I find that horrifying in every way. I wish the incest theme were only an Indian thing, but it turns out the whole world was waiting until it was okay to fuck family members. Have you guys never seen the royal family? Fucking relatives never work out.
Sneaky peeks make their way onto the site also. Usually, these sneaky peeks are of someone’s Aunt. What I find most interesting about the Aunt thing is that the Aunt does not have to be attractive in the least. Even Ogre Aunts are catching nephew dick. If you are an ugly bitch get your sister to have a kid and move to India with you. You will have all the young fecund dick you can take in about eighteen years.
Desivdo is a great place to not only get your fill of naked Indian bitches but also to increase the size of your personal porno library. Downloading porn has never been easier. The content selection is excellent, and you will find plenty of sexy freak bitches that love cock and showing off their bodies to strangers on the internet.
You may already know where I’m going to go as far as improvement goes on the site. The pop-ups can get pretty brutal. The ones that pop up when you try to get more video info are unrelenting. I know they have to make money, but the pop-ups could be cooled down a bit.
It’s time for you to visit Desivdo, pre-order a copy of my Sutra Bator, and prepare for an epic jerk session. I hope you can survive the shit.