Sometimes you need a Hero Ero to help you find some good shit to jerk off to. Arguably, your dirty old friend ThePornDude is usually that pantless champion you need, pointing you toward your ideal fap material, whether it’s lesbian threesomes, hentai or some wild fetish porn for the real freaks. Today, though, I’m going to talk about another hero making his lifesaving rounds on the Internet smut scene. Thanks to this magnanimous fucker, I think I avoided another indecent exposure arrest at the local cineplex.
The titular HeroEro is represented in golden silhouette beside HeroEro.com’s logo. He’s buff, he’s tough, and he’s here to help you jerk off to gorgeous nude celebrities and movie sex scenes. Yes, ladies and gentlemen and aggressively masturbating perverts, this right here is a free celebrity sex tube. They ain’t the only library of famous naked folks on the web, but they are a lot more popular than some of the other contenders; every day, more than 4,000 celebrity fans are touching themselves while perusing the collection.
Sexy Movie Stars in Sexy Movie Scenes
I guess I can’t speak for every horny pervert out there, but it’s always been a challenge for me to watch TV or movies without lubing up and busting out the silicone butthole. Can you fucking blame me? When I’m perving on the local sluts at Starbucks or the stay-at-home moms' grocery shopping at noon, I have to settle for average janes and plenty of uggos. I sometimes have to lurk in the Target bra section all day just to get off.
Meanwhile, even the “average” chicks on the shittiest daytime soaps are fucking gorgeous. The leading ladies in the big movies are often supermodel quality, and the best mainstream flicks often have at least a little sex. It’s not the hardcore crotch-shot footage you get on sites like Brazzers, but the women are goddesses and the production values are fucking insane.
What’s a horny dude to do? I stopped getting invited to movie nights with friends and I can’t even go to any of the local movie theaters without putting on a disguise. Fortunately, HeroEro features some of the hottest famous chicks in some of their sexiest, most naked scenes. You can watch the dirty parts over and over without sitting through the boring parts, and at the low cost of nothing, it’s even cheaper than fapping to Netflix.
The front page of HeroEro.com has the typical tube setup you expect. It’s a wall of thumbnails featuring popular celebrity sex scenes and the latest famous sluts added to the site. It ain’t just Hollywood flicks, either, but an international collection of nude scenes from around the world. Many people think of foreign films as arty bullshit for pretentious queers, but sometimes they get a lot more on-screen humping than Americans are comfortable with.
Cheaper and Easier to Beat Off to Than Netflix
I couldn’t find upload dates on the videos at HeroEro, but I know they’re building the collection all the goddamn time. I actually started writing this review yesterday before getting distracted by an epic-length masturbation session. This morning when I pulled up the front page, there were some new videos lined up for me to fap test.
The very latest clip features Stacy Martin in The Lady In The Car With Glasses And A Gun. It’s only a one-minute scene, but at least it’s in HD. I don’t speak French, so I’m not sure what the voiceover is saying in the beginning as we’re treating to some sexy photos of this babe. Seconds later, she’s stripping down in front of this angry dude before being mounted.
The scene is over before it gets too steamy, which I’m already sure is going to be one of my minor complaints about the site. The short scenes aren’t HeroEro’s fault, but rather a consequence of the format. I’m happy to report that most clips are longer than this one. Right before the French clip was added, they uploaded a 10+ minute Korean scene with a ton of flesh. I don’t see a ton of Korean porno come by my desk, so I was surprised by just how explicit it was.
I guess I should admit, I ain’t necessarily a film buff unless we’re talking about reality porn or vintage orgy films. I didn’t realize Amanda Seyfriend and Julianne Moore had a lesbian sex scene together in the movie Chloe, but you’d better believe I enjoyed it with my hands full as soon as I found it on HeroEro. The montage also contains footage of Amanda riding a dude in the flick, saving me the time and effort of renting it and searching through myself.
If you ever have a problem deciding what to watch on Hulu, you might be a little overwhelmed trying to decide what to crank it to on HeroEro. The front page shows new vids starring celebs like Charlize Theron, Natalie Portman, and Jennifer Lopez, not to mention a bunch of foreign starlets I’m currently acquainting myself with.
A Picture Menu of 5,000 Nude Celebs
A celebrity sex site is really only as good as the celebrities on it. HeroEro clearly has a lot going for it in that category, and I haven’t even made it off the front page yet. I clicked my way to the Actresses page to see the full list of famous hotties showing their titties and getting pretend-fucked on the site.
Holy shit. The thumbnailed menu of celebrities stretches on and on for hundreds of pages. All together, they have nearly 5,000 babes on the list so far. That’s pretty fucking comprehensive, so this is exactly the place to look if you’re searching for a particular nude scene from some obscure actress none of your friends have heard of.
A lot of the hottest chicks have multiple scenes on the site. Scarlett Johansson is in nearly 30, and they’ve got 22 with the always beautiful Salma Hayek. There are 16 apiece from Nicole Kidman, Monica Bellucci and Frankie Shaw. Amber Heard is in 15, proof that she’s done more with her life than just pooping on Johnny Depp’s bed.
Fap to the Naked Beauties of Cinema
I just realized I’ve been jerking off to Naomi Watts for literally decades now. HeroEro’s certainly going to help me continue that trend, with a dozen sex scenes from her movies. The collection goes back to 2001’s Mulholland Drive, and has stuff as current as her shower scene in 2019’s Luce. Goddamn, the blonde MILF has held up beautifully.
I guess I was too busy jacking off to see Sunlight Jr. when it came out. To be honest, I’d never heard of it until I saw it on HeroEro. It’s another short scene running just a few minutes, but Naomi takes it all off to bang Matt Dillon. I heard actresses wear various secret crotch protectors to prevent actual genital contact during these scenes, but dude’s face is right up in there and I’m sure he smells it.
Since HeroEro.com posted the best part of the movie, I don’t have to watch the whole thing. They also have convenient one-click downloads, so I saved the clip for my permanent collection. It ain’t the hardest hardcore scene in the world, but it’s fucking nice for a celebrity nude scene. Her little tits are gorgeous, and her fuck-me faces always make me hard as a rock.
HeroEro.com also has screenshot galleries to go with each of the movie sex scenes. You’ll find some decent screengrabs in there, but they’re really hit or miss. The pics look like they’re grabbed automatically by a machine, and the machine ain’t smart enough to pick out the sex parts. You’ll get a lot of scenery and talking faces mixed in with your lingerie shots and boobies.
I have to admit; I got to the HeroEro party a little bit late. I just found out about the joint, but they’ve been building the collection for a few years now. To date, there are around 30,000 movie sex scenes in the library. Netflix doesn’t even have 4,000 movies, which helps tell you how impressive HeroEro’s stash is. You ain’t going to get bored or run out of wank material anytime soon.
HeroEro.com is one of the web’s better celebrity nude tubes out there. They focus on sex scenes from movies and pull material from films made all over the world, working diligently to build and index a truly world-class selection of masturbatory content. The setup makes it easy as hell to find the scene or actress you want to jack off to, so there’s really no good reason not to spend the rest of your day doing just that.