Shoplyfter MYLF! I’ve been watching a lot of Internet videos lately of mom-aged broads getting into trouble. The Karens freaking out in grocery stores about wearing masks are good for a laugh, but they’re pretty hard to jack off to. I’m a determined pervert, though, so I just snorted a couple of lines of Viagra and kept at it. I could have saved myself a few bucks and a lot of chafing if I’d known Shoplyfter now has a MILF site called ShoplyfterMYLF.
If you’ve read my full review of Shoplyfter here at ThePornDude, you’ll already know it’s a pretty killer teen site with a neat gimmick. If you’ve read my review of MYLF, you’ll know it’s one of the better cougar networks out there. The name ShoplyfterMYLF.com kind of gives away the twist here, but in case you’re retarded, I’ll spell it out for you. These are premium hardcore movies where shoplifting women over 30 get nailed by security guards in the back room.
What It Takes to Be a Shoplyfter MYLF
Given my appreciation for both Shoplyfter and MYLF, I kind of figured I’d be in for a treat as soon as I saw the URL for ShoplyfterMYLF. Sometimes websites disappoint you by serving up exactly what you expected. In this case, I’m seeing exactly what I thought I would, and I’m pretty fucking happy about it.
Some folks hear the phrase Mothers You’d Like to Fuck and they immediately picture some haggard old broads whose cellulite disappears somewhere between beer number 7 and blacking out. These babes are fucking legit, though. All the movies here star gorgeous cougar pornstars. Out on the preview page, I see Becky Bandini getting her rack frisked, Krissy Lynn getting her panties checked for stolen goods, and Casca Akashova getting pounded from behind in a security office. I swear to fucking God, Alura Jenson’s ridiculous monster jugs look bigger every fucking time I see her. Security! I think this woman stole some pillows, and I’d love to lay my face comfortably between them.
MILFs are fantastic for a number of reasons. For one thing, the older sluts at ShoplyfterMYLF.com have aged like a fine wine, not withered and melted like the women in your trailer park. These babes have kept great care of their bodies, in some cases enhancing them through the miracle of surgery.
And let’s talk about how they fuck! Teen nymphomaniacs are fucking amazing to watch, with their endless energy and raging hormones. The thing is, even the most talented, acrobatic college girl only has so many notches in her bedpost and moves in her playbook. The MILFs here have been practicing their cock-polishing and pole-riding skills for years, and they’ve got a lot of tricks up their sleeves.
These mature ladies have a lot to teach a new generation of masturbators, not to mention the next generation of pornstars. Many of the flicks here feature intergenerational group sex as teens and MILFs alike are brought in back, strip-searched and given an easy way not to go to jail.
Cheap Like You Robbed the Joint
Maybe these sticky-fingered broads have got me in a thieving mood, but I wondered for a moment if I was taking advantage of a mistake when I saw the price. With the current summer pricing, a standard monthly membership for ShoplyfterMYLF goes for $18, a pretty penny cheaper than the typical $30 most paysites are asking. They also have a pretty good yearly deal on the full MYLF network.
They’re calling this their Summer Flash Sale, but I’ve been spending all my money on porn long enough to know paysite prices aren’t always transparent. If you want the truth, I imagine that low price has other factors besides the season. There’s also the unfortunate fact that they’re only adding a new movie once every two weeks. A few months ago, they were doing weekly updates, so I have to assume this is a case of COVID getting its cooties all over the smut industry. Fortunately, it looks like they’re very consistent with the biweekly release schedule, so you’ll know when you’re getting your new Shoplyfter MYLF movies.
Another reason for the low price is also the collection size. ShoplyfterMYLF.com wasn’t even online until the very tail end of 2019, so they’ve still got a relatively small stash. As of this writing, there are only 30 flicks on the menu. If you need more MYLF action, you might want to consider springing for MYLF Unlimited. It’s a cool $289 a year, but comes with access to Shoplyfter MYLF, PervMOM, AnalMom and a lot more.
Who’s Your Favorite Shoplyfter MYLF?
I was hard as a rock from the time I hit the tour page, so by the time I got signed up and logged in; I was ready for some fappy fun. The thumbnails enticed me with a fucking parade of fuckable blondes, brunettes, and redheaded MYLFs. A couple of Latinas and Asians spice up the menu, and I’m pretty tempted to start cranking it to the tiny preview images.
The thumbnail for Case No. 1879469 really stood out to me. Maybe it’s Vanessa Cage’s defiant pose as she stands in the security office wearing just her panties, or perhaps it’s those delicious natural titties, but I immediately know I needed to see more of her. She reminds me of a buzzed soccer mom I once found shouting Sweet Caroline into the mic at a karaoke bar. The shapely broad sounded a lot better with my cock in her mouth instead, and from the looks of the previews, I’d say Vanessa has similar orally based skills.
Shoplyfter MYLF movies are set up pretty much exactly like their teen counterparts at Shoplyfter. Basically, the women are accused of shoplifting and then fuck their way out of trouble. In Vanessa’s scene, she’s a former employee who’s seemingly been called in just to say “Hi” and shoot the shit. The dude with the blurred-out face doesn’t even accuse her of anything until getting a phone call a couple of minutes into the clip.
There’s not a ton of variety to the scenarios, but their gimmick lends to sexy power dynamics between the pornstars and guards. Vanessa’s demeanor goes from happy to annoyed, and we get to watch her squirm for a little while when the guard leaves the office. It’s not usually this sexy watching a woman pace a room, but she sells that nervous energy so well and looks fucking incredible pacing back and forth in a tiny red dress. Check out that thick booty!
Shoplyfter MYLFs Violated On Camera
Things get a lot more confrontational as Vanessa denies any wrongdoing and says she’s not going to let him strip-search her. Of course, the threat of jail is a powerful motivator. Goddamn, she looks scrumptious as she pulls her dress up and over her head. She covers her tits, angry and humiliated, but my dude has to find out if this ShoplyfterMYLF has stolen anything. To be honest, she should have worn granny panties; the G-string up her ass can’t exactly conceal that jewelry.
It’s an hour-long scene that doesn’t even go full-frontal until nearly halfway through, but the buildup is worth it. Vanessa’s reluctance goes into overdrive as she begrudgingly begins to suck her way out of trouble. She’s at the mercy of the guard, though, so she’s got to go with the program to avoid the 5-0. She slurps, gets fucked doggystyle, goes missionary, has her pussy eaten out and sucks some more. I don’t want to ruin the surprise for you, so try to guess for yourself which juicy part of her body gets hosed down with sperm.
Downloads are included with your membership, so I added this one to my permanent spank bank. The curvy cougar and her lascivious ways really did it for me, and the scenario was fucking killer.
The thievery gimmick at ShoplyfterMYLF.com is their biggest selling point, because it enables some pretty freaky semi-forced sex scenarios. The trick alone would be enough to sell memberships, but they’ve got some of the world’s hottest, most experienced MILF pornstars starring in their backroom desk-humps and forbidden face-fucks. If you like slightly older chicks who aren’t exactly enthusiastic about all the cock they have to take, you’re going to eat this shit up.