They say you can buy just about anything on the Internet. From silicone schoolgirl vaginas to enormous barrels full of industrial-strength lube, not to mention the mountains of pornography to enjoy while using those products, it’s all available at the click of a mouse. With over 2 billion visits per month, Amazon.com has something of a reputation as a superstore on the web. Did you know they also have a growing selection of doujinshi?
Yeah. I’m surprised, too. I’ve been using Prime to get protein shakes delivered to my door so as not to interrupt my weeklong masturbation binges, but it turns out they also have sex stuff. This review is going to focus on their wicked catalog of hentai, doujin and explicit manga, so strap on your fedora and put on your collared shirt with the Naruto print. It’s time to jack off to some Japanese comic books.
Amazon: Not Just for Masturbating Ladies
Amazon has actually been a prime masturbation destination for middle-aged women around the world for years. Don’t believe me? Check out the list of top 100 books and see how many of them have a shirtless muscleman on the cover. Branching out to include neckbeards in their self-gratifying audience seems like a no-brainer. The basement dwellers seem to get good allowances from their moms to buy anime princess body pillows to keep them company, and the ones with enough social skills to get jobs put those big, nerdy brains to use. There’s certainly money to be made there.
To that end, Amazon has over 5000 items in their doujin selection. Just typing “hentai manga” into the search bar earns me a shit ton of products, mostly in their Books and Kindle Store categories. I don’t typically see this many exposed breasts on a page of Amazon search results. They may be comic book titties, sure, but they’re big, round, succulent and often glistening with moisture.
Some of the material is even more explicit than just a couple of exposed nipples. The cover for Sweet Ladies! features a broad wearing nothing but a man’s collared shirt, opened to expose all the goods. She’s sitting on a desk or something with her legs spread and her twat ostensibly airing out in the office. Unfortunately, the whole fucking thing is covered in those typical pixels you find all over any kind of Japanese smut.
Shit. Sweet Ladies! looks like it might be good, depending on whether or not the inside is censored. It’s 18 bucks, though, and it doesn’t even qualify for Prime shipping. I dug into the reviews a little bit, and honestly? I think I may have to order this motherfucker. People are saying it’s freaky and uncensored, and the worst review said it should have trigger warnings so it doesn’t hurt victims of sexual abuse or molestation. I don’t know if that reviewer realizes these are selling points for a lot of hentai fans.
The reviews on Amazon are one of the best things about the site. I read the reviews when I’m trying to buy a new food processor to powder my Viagra, making sure I don’t get some bunk product that’s going to leave blade chunks in my pill dust. The hentai reviews give a pretty good insight into whether the material is censored or just kind of sucks. On the other end of things, the good reviews help the best shit rise to the top.
The Best Hentai on the Biggest Store Online
By default, everything in Amazon’s doujin section is sorted by Featured. Their exact algorithms for featuring content are something of a mystery, which is why I tend to lean more toward the customer reviews as an indicator of what’s good and what isn’t. (Here’s a little fun fact: when you see a product listed as Amazon’s Choice, you’re looking at an advertisement. Amazon didn’t choose it because it’s better; they chose it because the manufacturer paid them to.)
I’m not sure how many hentai publishers are paying to advertise on Amazon, though. I don’t see any sponsored items or Amazon’s Choices when it comes to naked schoolgirl princesses fighting aliens with their lactating nipples. I wonder if it’s because Amazon is trying to be subtle about their smut sales or if something else is going on here.
The top Featured item right now is a Best Seller called Witchcraft by Yamatogawa. Rated 4.7 out of 5 stars, it features a cutie and glasses who would like to perform some mystical experiments in peace. Unfortunately, her plans are hampered by an arch-nemesis with erotic plans of her own and a big-dicked loser who likes getting hypnotized. The paperback is Prime eligible, so you can be spraying your spunk between the pages by tomorrow.
I sorted the full list of hentai manga by Average Customer Review and came up with a fresh list. Interestingly, instead of 5000 results, this time there are only 369. I wonder if it’s because they cut thousands of unrated items out of the results.
The top-rated item here is again 4.7 stars, only this time it’s based on 157 ratings instead of eight. It’s a little something called Monster Musume, Vol. 1, and it’s available in both paperback and Kindle or comiXology format. This one’s about monsters in miniskirts, according to the subtitle, and the full synopsis talks about interspecies breeding. Who’s up for some centaur-girl sex?
Doujinshi Boobs and Good Reviews
Neither the cover nor the synopsis for Monster Musume makes it clear how explicit the comic book is. Again, I find myself digging through the reviews for a little bit more information. People are calling this a cute variation of the harem genre, ecchi manga with sexual flirtation and a lot of fan service. Unfortunately, for me at least, people are saying the most explicit thing is breasts. Some prude is even saying the comic needs to be restricted to adults only because of the cartoon titties.
One complaint I do have about Amazon’s doujin section is that it doesn’t have the advanced tag selection you expect from a typical hentai site. That’s totally understandable, given Amazon’s focus on selling every goddamn thing under the sun. Still, I wish I can sort my search results by tags or at least by rating. I’m all about that R18 shit when it comes to cartoon sex.
I end up having to browse the list largely based on the hentai covers and titles. Fortunately, a lot of them are relatively explicit. The cover for Vanilla Essence, for example, features a group of smiling schoolgirls exposing themselves in the classroom. The reviews back up my suspicion that it’s a filthy, uncensored doujinshi anthology.
Scrolling down the screen, I see more buxom ladies with their boobs hanging out. I also see a hell of a lot of manga dudes hugging each other and staring lovingly into each other’s eyes.
Do you know how I mentioned the shirtless musclemen who made Amazon’s Kindle store such a hit with horny ladies? I kind of wonder if those same horny ladies are driving these sales, or if they’ve got a bunch of hentai-loving queers flooding the place. I see plenty of yaoi (gay) manga on other hentai sites, but the material seems to occupy a lot of places on the list of highest-rated hentai on Amazon.
This is one of those areas where some sort/filter options would be really fucking useful. More power to you if you can get off to that yaoi stuff, but it makes me go a little bit soft to see a couple of guys sword fighting when I’m trying to look at some bouncing anime titties. Fortunately, I kept scrolling and found something called School Love Net that featured a bunch of girls in erotic extracurricular activities.
Amazon is not a dedicated hentai store, so it suffers in some obvious ways compared to places that specialize in the material. It’s a lot harder to find specific pieces of hentai content you may be interested in simply because their search engine isn’t set up for that. On the other hand, the doujin selection here is on par with Amazon’s other offerings; the selection is incredibly vast, and you can get items delivered free tomorrow if you have Prime. Sure, there is definitely a trade-off, but fans of the genre will almost definitely find a ton of material to their liking.