Manure Fetish! You motherfuckers ready to see some serious shit? I’m not talking about time travel or hardcore anal fisting, I’m talking about genuine, bona fide, 100% real fecal matter. This one’s a little bit different from your typical scat site in that the poo comes not from lovely lady assholes, but from animals. That’s right, you lucky farm fucker, ManureFetish is all about bitches playing around in the bovine shit pits of a big-ass cattle ranching operation.
ManureFetish.com is a pretty goddamn new website, and honestly? I’ve never seen anything like this. I pride myself at being first in line when a new, freaky, kinky-ass fetish appears, but this is the first time I’ve heard about people getting off to cow shit. They obviously ain’t the most popular porn site on the planet, but they’re getting like 200 visitors a day. That’s a lot more than I expected.
Is This Scat or a Completely Different Fetish?
Load up ManureFetish and you’re immediately greeted with a drawing of a pretty farm girl with her overalls pulled down and greenish cow shit smeared all over her titties and belly. It’s a comically gross image, making me laugh like a fucking retard and retching in my mouth just a little bit. Scroll down the page and you’ll see some even worse shit. I mean “shit” in both a literal and figurative sense here.
The first real image you’ll see is a photo of a redhaired babe with no clothes on. It’s actually a bit hard to tell she’s naked, because she’s waist-deep in a pit of cow feces. It’s thick like mud, and she’s got it smeared all over her body up to her neck. It’s a damn shame, because it looks like she’s got a tight little figure under there.
Of course, you probably won’t think it’s a shame. I’m guessing if you’re even reading this, the smell of farts give you a raging hard boner. I can almost smell that fecal stink just looking at this photograph.
I keep wondering, though: is this scat, or is it something else? I have to wonder if using animal shit makes it beastiality or some other fetish entirely.
Cow shit is absolutely fucking nasty, don’t get me wrong, but it honestly ain’t half as disgusting as human poop. Think about it. The fragrant aroma of a person’s diarrhea is one of the vilest odors that can touch your nose. That’s millions of years of evolution telling you to stay the fuck away from your own poop, because it is poison and will fucking kill you. Compared to a porta-John on a hot day, the smell of ripe cow pies is like a nice walk through a sunny field.
Maybe that’s splitting hairs. Maybe it doesn’t fucking matter at all. I will tell you this: cows shit a whole lot more than people do, so the gross bitches in these ManureFetish pieces have a lot more brown filth to play with.
Smear Yourself with Cow Poop and Jack Off
Every so often, you hear about some creep who gets busted lurking in the sewage chamber of a portable toilet at a festival or something. Some broad goes in to take a dump, sees a slimy face leering up at her, and the next thing you know a dozen dudes are trying to wrestle a slippery naked man greased-up with human excrement. Half the time, that odiferous lube helps the motherfucker escape.
You never really see that stuff in scat movies, probably because it just requires to goddamn much poop. Oh, not to mention it’s certainly dangerous and super fucking unhealthy. If you’ve got a goddamn hangnail or scraped knee, you’re probably going to die of sepsis.
ManureFetish is probably a fucking dream come true to people who want to take a dip in a fecal bath. No, it ain’t the pretty girl poop you’ve been dreaming about when you jerk off, but it is still a virtual hot tub of liquid crap.
The first photo set with a female model they ever released was called Emily in the Manure Channel. Emily is that redhaired chick I saw here earlier. The blog post about it speaks with pride about their first successful female-involved endeavor, like a mother who’s proud of her child taking a dump in the toilet for the very first time, taking it out of the pot and smearing it all over their bodies.
The preview images show the babe in an out of the poop channel, always naked and always completely covered in disgusting filth that you can practically smell through the fucking screen. The photo set is nearly 600 images taking up three gigs, and it will run you a cool 35 euros.
Holy cow shit. That’s a lot of euros for a stack of photographs. I guess it pays off to put out smut in a deep niche, huh? Nobody is shelling out that kind of money for lesbian threesomes. You can get a month at almost any premium sex site for less than a photo set here.
Take a Dip in Liquid Cow Shit Porn
I took a dip into ManureFetish’s Shop section to see what else they had on the shelf. If you guessed they’re all stocked up on cow manure and people playing in it, you guessed correctly. Well, I guess “stocked up” in this case is barely over a dozen pieces of content, which is way more manure porn than you’ll find anywhere else in the entire world.
One of the most surprising things about the Shop is that most of the material features dudes, not chicks. That Emily photo set is the only one filed under Women, and then they’ve got a dozen filed under Men. I honestly don’t know if that means it’s a queer fetish, or if it’s the actual shit that gets people hard and not the person playing in it.
They’ve got a movie called Mud and Manure available for €25. It features a dude rolling around in a cow pasture, getting covered in mud and shit, and playing around with a buttplug. The video is a 40-minute extravaganza of jerking off with poop, fucking his ass with a dildo, and pushing fresh warm cow dung up his own asshole.
A few lovely Related Products are listed under this wholesome poop-stuffing film. There’s one called Manure Fun at Home about a guy who goes outside, collects a big bucket of cow shit, brings it inside, warms it up and then plays with it. You know, like you do. The thumbnails are funny in that they show a man’s progression from a weirdo in a tub with a bucket of poop, to a weirdo in a tub covered in the poop that used to be in the bucket. He also plays with an inflatable buttplug.
I guess if you’re going to bring cow shit into your house, the bathtub is the best place for it. If you’re looking to wallow around in an actual pool of bovine turds, you’ll probably need to go Under the Cowshed. That’s actually one of just a couple videos/photosets on the site with a rating. It’s got a five out of five, as you might expect, and spawned its own sequel: Under the Cowshed Volume Two.
Beat Off to Cow Scat Erotica
As fucking disgusting as ManureFetish will be to most viewers, it’s very apparent that this is a labor of love to whoever created the site. Somebody really loves their cow crap. If it’s not apparent just from the video, photography, and the lovingly written descriptions of people horsing around with cow caca, the erotic stories in the Blog section will let you know how serious these perverts are.
I read a quick little tale about a blossoming romance on a farm somewhere. It reads like any other erotic fiction, only there’s a ton of manure smeared all over the sex scenes. I’m a city person, so maybe I don’t know shit. Maybe playing in the butt mud is just what you do down on the ranch when you’re getting your fuck on.
Different strokes for different folks, I guess. ManureFetish doesn’t do shit for me, but I’m not in the tiny audience who can get a raging boner by sticking my face in a cow pie. If you have any erotic attachment to farm animal waste, I don’t know where else you could get your fix. Check it out, I guess.