Let me tell you one of my dirtiest little secrets: sometimes I fantasize about being a security guard. Not because I want to act like a petty little tyrant, drunk on the power to shove around punks who thought they could pocket forties and steaks. No, I’d be more like the brave souls at Shoplyfter.com, putting their lives on the line to teach young ladies the dangers of stealing.
If you’ve been watching Internet smut for any amount of time, you’re no doubt familiar with the busted-shoplifter scenario. The reality porn staple features hot teens who get caught trying to apply a five-fingered discount where it hasn’t been advertised, and their subsequent misadventures are fodder for your own five-fingered adventures. Shoplyfter has been building their database of these sexy criminals since 2016, and thousands of visitors a day are reviewing the photo and videographic evidence against them.
Shoplifting Scenarios from Team Skeet
I should probably mention up front who made Shoplyfter. This is a production of Team Skeet, so most of you compulsive masturbators will already have a pretty goddamn good idea what kind of quality you can expect from the site. Check out my review of their network on ThePornDude if you’re new to the Internet. The long and short of it is that they’re one of the most respected reality porn outfits going.
The preview page shows thumbnails of girls in security offices, trying to talk their way out of their misdeeds. I’m tempted to believe them, but then again, I’m a real sucker for a pretty face. I also have a thing for nice racks, and all the flesh on display is already making me drool. So long, moral compass!
I also recognize some of these chicks. Some of them are familiar faces that I’m sure I’ve seen around lately, rising porn sluts just starting to make their names. Others are chicks I know I’ve fapped to before. I didn’t expect Kimmy Granger or Gina Valentina would need to steal stuff, as their porn careers seem like they’re going well. Then again, they seem like the kind of broads who like to break the rules for a cheap thrill.
Natalie Porkman and Ellie Eilish have also made recent appearances. A quick look at the Models page shows a certain type. Shoplyfter has a lot of teenage girls-next-door, the kind of innocent young babes you’d never expect to gank goods without paying for them, let alone spread their twats for a security officer in the back of the store.
“There are approximately 27 million active shoplifters in our nation today,” intones a really serious, deep-voiced motherfucker as the trailer montage opens. Sexy sluts on fake security camera look around and shove things in their pockets. “American retailers lose 45 billion dollars annually to theft,” he says, and then we see Sadie Hartz in the office, getting accused of gaffling some shit.
It’s just a two-minute trailer, but does a hell of a job selling what Shoplyfter is all about. The blurry-faced security officer breaks her down, making her strip and physically helping her along when the threats to call the cops aren’t enough.
Sadie’s resistant at first, but she has no choice but to give in. It’s a hard fucking or a trip to jail, and Sadie ain’t built for the big house. She looks annoyed but resigned as he fucks her mouth, slams her side-saddle on the desk, and ultimately pops in that pretty, petulant face.
Cheaper Than a Misdemeanor Conviction
A membership to Shoplyfter will run you about thirty bucks a month, which is what the majority of premium sites are asking in 2022. They’ve also got a 1-day trial for two bucks, and cheaper rates for 3- and 12-month subscriptions.
Team Skeet has been around for so long and started so many porn websites that some of them have gone stale. If you sign up for their full network package, which is 80% off with the Shoplyfter membership, you’ll probably notice some of the sites haven’t been updated in a while.
Shoplyfter is one of the more active Team Skeet sites. Right now, they’re putting out an exclusive new movie every week. As of this writing, the full collection includes nearly 200 movies about gorgeous teens who made a wrong decision, and the lengths they’ll go to correct that mistake.
Top Pornstars Reluctantly Fucking
After signing up and logging in, you’ll be dropped off on the Team Skeet member’s site. They’ve been in the game for a while and have a pretty refined system for browsing, watching and fapping to their movies. It’s not all that different from most paysites, with the same basic options for sorting and filtering the material, but it’s done well.
I scrolled through the thumbnailed menu of shoplyfting sluts, stopping when I saw Brooklyn Gray in her underwear, making the grumpiest face I’ve ever seen her make. She’s still as cute and sexy as ever, so naturally, I couldn’t wait to see how she interacted with the security dude. The 96% user rating didn’t surprise me, given the overall quality I’ve seen in her growing body of work.
The 50-minute scene begins with Brooklyn being brought into the security office, sat down, and accused of stealing. She argues with him, and her acting ain’t bad. Maybe she’s done this in real life. I know she’s done the cock-sucking and twat-spreading I’m sure is coming soon. I also know I’ll be cumming soon.
I jumped ahead ten minutes. There’s a little bit of buffering, but I’m watching it in 1080p so I expect a little. It ain’t bad. Brooklyn continues to argue as he pats her down, but she does take her top off when he threatens to get the law involved.
Bad Girls Cracked on Camera
Brooklyn is always cute as hell, but there’s something about the semi-resistant bitch act that makes me hard as a rock. Her tough-girl veneer cracks again when he moves toward the phone to call the 5-0. A couple of minutes later, she’s fully naked, doing her best to cover her tits and twat with her hands.
We’re supposed to believe we’re watching this play out on a few hidden HD cameras, so the “camerawork” is pretty minimal. They’re not fucking dumbasses, though, so the angles and shots line up more or less with the action.
For example, there’s a waist-level shot that spotlights Brooklyn’s stunning naked body as she cries and begs him to let her go. The girl’s such a nympho, though, that she can’t help cracking a slight smile when the dude’s cock comes out in her face.
I have to give it to her, though. I’m used to seeing Brooklyn in full sex-craze mode, but I can almost believe she doesn’t want this dick inside her. Almost. Cracking a little smile is one thing, but there’s no mistaking the enthusiasm of the way she sucks cock.
After the blowjob, the rent-a-cop bends Brooklyn over the table and starts fucking her from behind. There’s more crying and begging, plus some occasional giggling because this girl just can’t help it. Goddamn, as much as I love watching her play the victim, it drives me crazy seeing her smile from the cock even when she’s trying not to.
Brookyln is one of my favorite pornstars, but Team Skeet has been getting girls like her to star in their flicks for a while now. It’s no surprise they’re still at it, and there’s no reason to expect them to start compromising on that front.
The top-shelf talent is a major part of the equation at Shoplyfter. The setup, setting, and scenario is the same every time, so it’s up to the talent to make the most of it. Team Skeet manages to find some of the most beautiful and sexually talented teens and early-20s bimbos to star in their shoplifting pornos. The babes are fucking great, so the movies are fucking great.
There ain’t much variety to Shoplyfter.com, but that’s kind of the point. The Team Skeet production sees some of the sexiest young porn sluts getting reluctantly banged as punishment for being bad girls. It’s kinky as hell, some would even say wrong, which is why it continues to be such a major draw for the premium porn network.