What kind of name is "Porno Bae", "Pornbae" or whatever? The Internet can be an embarrassing thing. Your mom might post a pic on social media of you and your sister in the bathtub, or you might send a drunk and horny PM to a co-worker who now knows you want to sniff her panties. If you’re really unlucky, you could start a website and be stuck with a stupid name forever. That’s what happened with tube site Porno Bae.
Yeah, it will always be obvious that PornoBae got its start in 2016. I’m glad people aren’t calling each other Bae so much anymore, and kudos to the site for outliving one of the stupidest pet names ever. They’d probably change the name, but it gets a little difficult once you’re getting a couple of million views a month. Now let’s look at their porn.
A Tube by Any Other Name
PornoBae’s got the same basic layout as all the other porn tubes in your browser history. It’s common enough even your grandma recognizes it by now. There’s a logo, a search bar, and then a ton of videos. You get a simple header and a handful of category tags on the side if your screen is wide enough.
The default view is the latest videos. The newest thing during my visit is a full-length taboo clip with what looks like a really intimate family, which was added today. It’s from FilthyFamily. If you’ve seen my review of that site, you know they put out some good shit. I’m a sucker for incest movies, and these are gold.
You can’t see the upload dates on the clips unless you click through to the individual video pages, which isn’t really a big deal. It just took me a little extra work to figure out they’ve added a dozen movies today. PornoBae’s growth rate is respectable as hell. There’s always going to be something new to shake your dick at.
You can also sort the videos by Most Viewed, Longest, Popular, and Random. My review of the site took a 20-minute detour when I checked out the top clip on the site. It’s an IKnowThatGirl scene featuring Jennifer Jacobs pulling out her massive jugs and working that world-famous mouth on the cameraman’s cock.
Breast Implants, Eye Patches, and Peg Legs
So far I’ve mentioned IKnowThatGirl and FilthyFamily, but those are not the only premium sites I see on PornoBae. In the last 24 hours, they’ve also added taboo porn from FamilyStrokes, a teenage creampie from TeensLoveCream, and a massive orgy with bigs tits, anal, and blowjobs from RealityKings.
You’ve probably heard of most of the sites PornoBae is getting their material from. This is premium stuff. It doesn’t look like the short sample clips they use on free tubes to lure you in for a membership. These are long hardcore movies of cuckolding housewives, cock-hungry schoolgirls, and incestuous step-moms, all from sites that charge you good money just to watch.
Top-Shelf Porn in a Greasy Wrapper
PornoBae features tons of movies from sites like FakeTaxi, NubilesPorn, PureTaboo, and PublicAgent. If you’ve never ruined a whole box of tissues watching these sites, you at least know of their reputations. This is the good shit, the premium stuff, the porno that people willingly pay for month after month.
It’s filet mignon tonight, boys, the finest cuts of meat. This ain’t the bargain bin at the truckstop spank shack. You already know this is the luxury smut, the champagne of fuck films. The only question is how well the site works.
I pulled a half-hour video from BrazzersExxtra—Wanted Fucked or Alive: Part 2. The video buffered for a few seconds, long enough for me to worry, but once it got going it seemed to play without a problem. Quality is high, but not adjustable. You can change the playback speed, from quarter speed all the way up to double speed.
My ad-blocker waged quite a battle with PornoBae. A pop-up briefly appeared and then got zapped down when I first clicked play, another when I paused it, and then again when I tried to jump to a later part of the movie. That’s when I ran into that buffering issue again, pulling me out of my wank session for a good 10-15 seconds. Watching a cumshot multiple times is going to be a hassle, so you’d better watch it in slow-mo.
The clip itself is everything you could want from a BrazzersExxtra clip, just in a less convenient package. Lela Star is some kind of cowgirl gangster trying to pull a fast one on the sheriff. Her idea of trickery involves sucking his cock and giving him access to her pussy from every angle. I hope she got what she wanted, because I sure did.
Beneath the video is a set of timestamped screengrabs, which will be helpful if you want to skip around in the clip without wasting hours buffering. Beneath that is a selection of download options. They all look like the kind of sites where your computer gets AIDS.
I’m usually a big fan of downloadable clips, especially if they involve Lela Star getting banged doggystyle, cowgirl, and missionary, but the site choices look way too shady. If you’re the kind of guy who sticks his unwrapped dick in a crack whore, go right ahead, but I advise everyone else to be careful. If you’ve just got to save anything, use a virus scanner and remember not to be a fucking idiot.
Pretty Interesting Categories of Porno
I made my way over to the Categories page. On most sites, I can expect to see the usual players like Anal, Lesbians, and Blowjobs. I’m always looking for what’s unusual, what sets the site out from other porn palaces on the Internet.
PornoBae doesn’t even have the typical porno categories. There’s no Blondes, no Ebony babes, and nothing filed under Teens. You can type Fisting or Facial into the search bar and get a bunch of results, but you’ll find neither on the Categories page.
Nah, the Categories page is just a big-ass, thumbnailed list of the sites PornoBae gets their smut from. I count nearly 140 sites. There’s a lot of big-name hardcore like Tiny4K, TeamSkeet, and PervMom. Click an image and find what PornoBae’s got from your favorite paysite.
If I have any major complaint about PornoBae, it isn’t the weird categories page. It isn’t the spam either, since my blocker more or less takes care of the problem.
No, the biggest problem I had with PornoBae was the buffering. The videos did look nice and crisp when they played, but you’re out of luck if you want to skip around during the video. If you’re one of those easy-to-please wankers who can just put something on and start pumping, you’re set. Everyone else is going to be frustrated.
PornoBae has an absolutely incredible selection of porno, bae. They just make it too inconvenient to access. You can get off, but you might get pissed off along the way.